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She walked in the direction of the little house Sting had given to us, not hurrying, head held high. A queen surveying her kingdom. There was no outward sign she was hurting, but I could see it in every single step she took. I knew this woman better than I knew myself. I’d cut her to the bone. The wound would eventually heal, but the scar it left behind would never go away.
And I knew any chance I had at a happy ever after just walked out of my life. For good.
Chapter Two
Apple
Four Months Later
My ears rang and my chest and shoulder hurt like a motherfucker. Everything seemed like it was coming at me from inside a well. I groaned but it sounded like my ears were plugged full of cotton and all I could hear was myself. Being shot was a motherfucking bitch. Pain meds after being shot? Also a motherfucking bitch, but better than the pain. Except for not having my wits about me.
“Oh, God…”
“Easy, honey.” That voice was familiar. God, I needed out of this fog! Under other circumstances, I could see myself enjoying the feeling of floating, but I was hurting and I needed my whole brain engaged if I was going to go toe to toe with the one person I’d hoped never to see again as long as I lived.
“Go away.” It was all I could manage.
“Not until I’m sure you’re OK.”
“I’m fine. Go away.”
I didn’t hear anything for a long time. I thought maybe he’d done as I told him and I wasn’t sure how I felt about that. Instead, I felt a big, warm hand on my uninjured shoulder.
“Bullet’s on his way with some pain meds. Just hang in there for me.”
“No more meds.” I shook my head, but it just made everything worse. “No more fruit punch either.”
“Let Bullet decide what you need, honey. OK?” He didn’t acknowledge the fruit punch and I didn’t expound, but I’d found the combination of the pot-laced drink and opioids should never be a thing. It was fine as long as I was content to lie still and justenjoy the buzz, but there was no way I could function. And yeah. I might not have told Bullet I’d had the fruit punch in addition to the codeine he’d given me. My bad.
“As long as you go away.”
“Apple…”
“No, Deacon. I said go away. Leave. Now.” Even as I said it, my heart felt like it was being ripped from my chest. I couldn’t even see him properly. My vision seemed tunneled and more than a little blurry. I tried to tell myself that was great. The last thing I needed was to see him clearly. The man I was so in love with it hurt.
It was like an affliction. I didn’t want to love him. I wanted to hate him. Even knowing I’d never be what he wanted, I still loved him. I was afraid he’d be the only man I’d ever love and that, more than anything, terrified me.
“Pain gettin’ bad, Apple?” That was Bullet. I turned my head -- slower this time -- to where I thought he should be. I got a blurry blob that was roughly Bullet’s size. I guess.
“Yeah. But don’t give me anything else.”
Bullet chuckled. “I take it the fruit punch in combination with the strong pills was a little much.”
I grimaced. “You’d guess right.”
“If you hadn’t done both of them, you’d have been better off.”
“You knew about that, huh.” It wasn’t a question. Which, yeah. Bullet knew everything about his patients.
“Yep. Not recommended and I’d never give you the combination on purpose, but considering what you’d been through, I thought it would knock your ass out and you’d sleep.” He grinned. “I never mix the fruit punch so strong it would hurt you if you took something else with it.”
“If I wasn’t in pain it might be kinda fun. Right now, with the fuzzy head, the pain is kind of making me sick. I don’t thinkI could even pick up a glass of water to take a pill right now.” My words were slightly slurred and I was sure a little stilted. “Christ,” I muttered. “It’s like there’s a disconnect between my brain and my mouth. I know what I want to say but can’t get it out.”
“I understand.” He put a bottle of water in my hand, his hand around both mine and the bottle. “I’ll help you with the water if you can swallow these. Straight Tylenol. Nothing to make you even higher. Promise.”
I grunted and opened my mouth. Bullet dropped in two tablets and helped me get the water to my lips. I took over from there until I’d swallowed the pills. When I trembled slightly, Bullet removed the water from my hand and set it on the table beside my bed.
“Thanks.” I laid back with a groan. “If this is what it feels like to be shot, I’m not recommending it.”
