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Quinn smiles, and I know I have lost. I’m going to lose the one thing that has made me happy these past few weeks.
She gets close to my ear and whispers, “I’m going to enjoy breaking your soul even more now. You never deserved them to begin with, slut.”
Then, turning away from me, she starts.
“You all deserve to know what a liar she is. She has been lying ever since she was eight years old. Did you know I actually used to be best friends with her? She used to come over and spend the night and everything. I told her everything, until she lied about what my dad did. She told her mom that my dad t—”
“NO!” I yell.
CHAPTER30
PAISLEY
“I’ll dowhat I fucking want, slut,” Quinn seethes. “Now, where was I? Oh, right. Yeah, she told her mom that my dad touched her in…‘bad areas’ was the phrase she used back then. Am I right, Paisley?”
I just told her no, and still she told my secret to the only four people on this planet I didn’t want to know.
What is it about this family that they don’t understand what the word no means?
Frustrated, embarrassed, but ultimately mostly ashamed, I drop my stuff and run. I don’t even know where I’m running to, but I need to get away from my guys and away from that situation.
I don’t make it very far before I feel a pair of strong arms wrap around me.
“No, no, no,” I keep repeating.
“Shh, mi amor. It’s okay. I’ve got you. You don’t have to run,” Mateo says to me in a soothing voice.
I lose all my strength to stand and I fall down, taking Mateo with me. I break down and cry. I’m sobbing now. I have snot coming out of my nose, I’m sure my eyes are splotchy with red spots, and my muscles are spasming from how much I’m heaving, trying to catch my breath in between sobs.
I’m unsure how long I just sit there crying into Mateo’s shirt before I finally quiet down enough to remember that I’m in his lap. I scurry off him like a bat out of hell and wipe my face as much as possible.
“Are you feeling better now that you got some of those pent-up emotions out?” Atlas asks.
I look behind me, and he, Luca, and Kade are all there with worried expressions.
“You guys don’t have to pretend to still like me. I understand. You can go inside and pretend I don’t exist anymore. I don’t expect you to like me anymore after what you just heard,”I sign with my head down and tears streaming down my face.
“One, we have told you, nothing would make us walk away from you. Two, we don’t know the story, and we are hoping that when you are willing or ready, you can tell us what happened in your own words. We don’t want to pressure you into anything. Also, good job standing up for yourself back there. You have a wonderful voice. Even though you only said one word,” he says.
I look between all of them, and their faces never waiver. This is where I need to let my walls down completely and trust them. I need to tell them what happened, no matter what happens.
“I want to tell you what happened, but I’m scared of what’s going to happen after I do. I’m afraid you’ll look at me differently or leave,” I sign to them.
“I don’t know how many times we can say we aren’t going to leave. All we can do is prove it to you with our actions. Trust us, Paisley. Please,” says Mateo.
“I need to be strong enough to tell you all in my own voice. I need to stop hiding behind my quietness. You all keep saying that you aren’t going to leave, so I need to prove that I’m strong enough for you. I haven’t had a vocal conversation with anyone since I was nine years old. So please bear with me, because this is going to be hard for me to get through,” I sign, straightening my back and looking up.
“I used to be best friends with Quinn. Li-li-like she said, we used to have slumber parties all the time. Mother…Mother wanted to get rid of me as much as possible anyway...” I say, taking a deep breath.
“It’s okay, Paisley. Take your time. We don’t need to talk about this now. Just whenever you are ready,” Mateo says.
“Don’t push yourself to tell us. We don’t need to know right now,”Luca signs.
I continue speaking, but still sign so Luca can keep up with what I’m saying.
“Thinking back, he started out pretty early. Quinn’s dad would always hold my hand and brush the hair out of my face and tell me what a sweet little girl I was.”
Breathe.
