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I turn around and look up to Kade, afraid he will look at me differently, but what I see isn’t disgust or hatred. No, I see something different. I see despair, maybe. Sadness? I’m not quite sure. A tear runs down my face, and Kade steps up and wipes it away.
“Don’t cry, wallflower. I told you, we are all here no matter what,” he whispers in my ear as he puts his arms around me and squeezes softly.
“Hey, don’t hog her! I want my hug,” says Atlas.
“How do you know you get a hug?” I sign with a smirk on my face.
I joked, not even meaning to; it was instinctual. My eyes go wide.
“Oh, man, she fucking roasted you good. God, Paisley, if you weren’t already my favorite person besides these bozos, you would be after that comment,” says Kade.
“I’m so sorry I said that, Atlas. It was rude of me. Please don’t hate me,”I sign with fearful wide eyes.
Please don’t leave me, I whisper in my head.
I’m so afraid that just that one comment will be enough to make him leave. Atlas is the one I haven’t kissed. I’m such an idiot.
“Pai, it’s okay. I didn’t take it in any way. I’m not upset, and I see those gears turning and I’m not leaving. And I definitely don’t hate you. So, how ‘bout that hug?” he asks.
I step up, and he gently pulls me to him and wraps his warm arms around me. When I’m wrapped up in his arms, I feel like I’m at peace. It’s like he quiets all the self-doubt that I have ever had.
Too soon, he lets go and hands me off to Mateo. I take a step into his embrace. Being in Mateo’s arms, I know I will be protected. It’s like I have a gladiator at my side, ready for battle at a moment’s notice. I let go first, not wanting any of them to have too much time over the others.
“Why are you guys here? There are still…what, like thirty minutes until school actually starts?” I sign with my eyebrows raised.
“Well, we wanted to talk to you about something, and with what happened last night…” Kade says.
“What do you want to talk about?” I sign with tears forming in my eyes, trying hard not to freak out externally.
They have told you time and time again that they aren’t leaving. Trust them, Paisley.
“Well, we talked last night, and we know you have kissed everyone but Atlas. And before you freak out… One, Atlas is not mad that he hasn’t been kissed. Two, none of us are mad or jealous. We wanted to let you know that it’s okay. It’s okay if you like all of us at the same time. If you decide you want to date one of us, if you want to date all of us, or none of us, it’s okay. We just want to make you happy,” he says.
“How can you be okay with sharing me? A relationship is between two people, not five,” I sign with my eyes bugged out.
“I’ll speak to this one: a relationship is what you make it. As long as there is trust, communication, and love, it can be between however many people you want. However, we don’t want to be with anyone other than you. You are it for us,” Mateo says.
“I refuse to pick between you four. I truly believe that each of you brings out different parts of me that I didn’t know I had,” I sign to them.
“So does that mean you will go out with us and be our girlfriend?” asks Atlas.
“I can’t. You don’t know the real truth about me, and if you did, you would want nothing to do with me,”I sign roughly.
I don’t want to run. I want to stay and cuddle in their arms. They are my shelter now, but how can I be with them when they don’t know the truth?
I don’t want to tell them, either. I love this peace I have with them, and it will be disrupted if the secret slips.
I turn around to run, and I bump into Quinn, accidentally dumping her coffee on her shirt.
I flinch and close my eyes, knowing she is going to slap me, but nothing comes. I open my eyes, and Mateo has her wrist held back. When I look up, Quinn is awestruck.
“Let me go!” she screeches. “Why are you defending her? She got coffee on me! My shirt is fucking ruined. Now I’m going to have to go back home and change, and it’s all her fault!”
“Doesn’t mean you can abuse someone, and she didn’t do it on purpose. It was an accident.”
“Are you kidding me?” she screams. “How can you take this fucking slut’s side over mine? I bet this cunt hasn’t even told you what she did nine years ago. She destroyed my family because she’s a little attention-seeking whore!”
I get in front of Mateo and look at Quinn, begging her with my eyes not to tell them. They’ll take her side, not even wanting to hear my side, and I’ll have no one.
