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“Dude, you never have to worry. Of course I’ll help you,” I tell him, grateful for the subject change.
He could probably tell how much talking about it was affecting me.
A few minutes later, I pull into our driveaway and tell Kade I’ll be inside in a second. I just need a moment to compose myself.
CHAPTER15
PAISLEY
Heading home,I take the short way. Knowing Mother isn’t home, I actually open my mouth up and sing. I don’t belt anything out. I keep it quiet and to myself, but I let myself hear my voice.
I sing every now and then, knowing that if I don’t use my voice, it will atrophy, and though I’m afraid to talk now, my hope when I move from this town is that I can find love and eventually have conversations with whoever I fall in love with. I don’t want to be selectively mute for the rest of my life.
So I sing. I sing the song Daddy used to sing me to help me get to sleep every night.
Daddy’s got his baby girl, girl, girl
His girl, girl, girl
His sweet baby girl
Daddy’s got his baby girl, girl, girl
Yes, he does
* * *
“It’s time for bed, Paisley!” Dad yells at me from downstairs.
“Okay, Daddy!” I say back.
I have to clean up all my toys and do my nighttime routine. If I do everything without being told, I get Skittles in my lunchbox the next day! Yay!
I start cleaning up my dollies and the tea set that I have out. Putting them all back where they are supposed to go, I rush through all the cleaning and finally have it all picked up.
Next, I go get changed into the pajamas that I wore last night. I only wore them to bed once, so they are totally clean. Well, that’s what Mommy and Daddy tell me. That it’s okay to wear them multiple nights back-to-back. The shirt is white, and the pants are rainbows. I LOVE RAINBOWS. Not only do I love rainbows, but it’s also my favorite color. Quinn says that rainbows can’t be a color, but I disagree. It’s totally a color.
After getting my clothes on, it’s time to brush my teeth. I’m not so good at this, but I try my best and that’s what Daddy says counts. He always pats my head and says, “Trying is all that matters.” Brushing my upper and then lower teeth, and then my tongue, I spit out the toothpaste and then clean the toothbrush before putting it back up.
Last, but not least, it’s time to go get Daddy so he can read me a bedtime story.
“Daddy, I’m ready for bed! Story time!” I yell down the stairs.
Heading to bed, I tuck myself in, wanting to get a head start so Daddy can start reading immediately.
“Which book do you want to read tonight?” Daddy asks.
“Surprise me!” I exclaim.
Daddy grabs a random book. We have tons and tons of books for little kids. We have cardboard books, chapter books, learn-to-read level books, all kinds. The book he grabbed has a unicorn on it. One of my favorites. I look up at him, and he is smiling. I bet he picked it on purpose.
I listen to Daddy read the book, and once he is done, we do our nightly back and forth “love yous.”
“Night night, Pai.”
“Night night, Daddy.”
“Roll over and I’ll sing you our song and rub your head until you fall asleep.”
