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He used me.That was the prevailing thought once he left and I got my bearings.He had used me to get back at Carson for some reason. It was the only thing that made sense. None of this was about me. It was about whatever revenge he wanted to get on Carson. He didn’t explain it, but I could tell as much. And the fact that I’d just surrendered my body, my first time, to this cold, unfeeling jerk made me feel lower than low.
I guessed I was my mother’s daughter, after all.My mother once described a similar scene, telling me about how she conceived me.People often say children are doomed to repeat the mistakes of their parents, but I didn’t know how true that was until now.
“Good,” Nick had said in the same tone of voice. As he headed to the door, he added, “We wouldn’t want there to be any nasty surprises, right?”
He turned to look at me when he said it, and I knew it was a warning. If I ended up pregnant, he would push me to have the baby aborted. He wouldn’t want any attachment, any reminder of the one time with me. I just knew it.
So, a few weeks later, when I found out I was pregnant, I kept it to myself. The baby gave me something to live for, something to fight for. At the time, I was deep in the throes of depression, and finding out I was pregnant with Violet helped pull me out of it.
I might not like myself much and might feel worthless, but the baby deserved better. They deserved someone who would love them and take care of them no matter what. They deserved someone whole. So, I picked my ass up and got back into action. I immediately made a game plan, something I could execute without asking for help. I got my GEDs and then joined a two-year state college where I learned UX and UI design. The first year, I worked and paid my way through. In the second year, I got a scholarship.
And now, here I was.
Violet saved my life. But I knew, to Nick, she would only be a huge inconvenience. I’d already grown up with a father who never wanted me, and I didn’t want the same experience for Violet. That shit cut at your self-confidence. I didn’t want Violet to have the same daddy issues I did, so it was better she thought he was dead.
But knowing Nick didn’t want Violet was what allowed me to be honest with him now too.
I knew he wouldn’t take her from me because he wouldn’t want her anyway. And his grudge against Carson likely meant he would want to keep his daughter out of the mayor’s clutches. He was the only one I knew who was potentially powerful enough to face the mayor. In the best-case scenario, when all this was over, he could just sign over his parental rights and be done with it. And I would agree to keep his parentage quiet for the rest of my life.
“Is that a joke?” Nick finally voiced.
I shook my head. “Why would I joke about something like that?”
“No idea. How is it you have my daughter when we only hooked up once, and you told me you were on the pill?”
I blushed. So he did remember that. “I lied,” I admitted.
He leaned forward in his seat, his piercing ink-black eyes somehow growing even more intimidating. “Do I look like an idiot to you?”
I shook my head, confused.
“So why the fuck would you think this little ruse would work?” He shook his head. “I never actually pegged you for the type.”
He thinks I’m lying, I realized, somewhat surprised. This was interesting because in all the different scenarios I saw this going, I didn’t quite think of him pegging me as a liar.
Of course, in retrospect, it made sense that he didn’t believe me.
“I have women pulling this game all the time,” he commented breezily, still watching me. “Usually, it happens a few months after I fuck them, so kudos to you for having the balls to try and extort me five years later.”
Even though I knew it was rational for him to be suspicious, resentment and anger grew within me.Really? He thought I was so pathetic that I would try to lie about having his baby. Or was it the fact that he thought I was trying to get money out of him? Either way, it sent indignation raging through me.
Nevertheless, I needed him for my plan to work, so I swallowed my pride and said, “I’m not lying. I can have a paternity test done if you don’t believe me.”
He frowned, losing his smirk and some of his wind when he saw the seriousness on my face. His jaw tightened to the point where it looked like he was grinding his teeth together.
“If it’s true, then why the fuck are you just telling me now?”
I held my ground, meeting his eyes with a braveness I didn’t feel. “I didn’t think you would care. And I didn’t want to introduce my daughter to a man who didn’t give a fuck about her.”
His jaw made even more grinding sounds. “And now? Why are you telling me about her now?”
“Because I need your help,” I said, and at my words, some understanding dawned on his face.
”With money?”
Was that all he ever thought about?I shook my head. “No.” Then, I thought about it for a few moments before continuing, “Maybe. But I’m not exactly sure how much it would cost you.” All I knew was that my father was a very powerful man who would do just about anything to get his way. And the only person I could think of to take him on was Nick.
Although, now that I was here, I had my doubts. Nick didn’t look happy at all with the news, and while I never thought he would welcome it with open arms, it was the first time I doubted he would help me.
