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“What about it?” His voice sounds even sharper.
“You’ve just seemed…different since then. Did I say something that offended you?”
He scoffs. “What could you have possibly said to offend me?”
Is that sarcasm? “That’s why I called, to find out.”
“Well, if anything occurs to me, you’ll be the first person I reach out to, sweetheart.”
Okay, that’s definitely sarcasm. I don’t understand. “Jonathan… I mean, Mr. Knight, I’m trying to have an adult conversation so we can resume a decent working relationship, and you’re being an ass. Maybe I shouldn’t be surprised. I was dumb enough to care if I upset you. But since you’re back to your same-old, same-old routine…just forget I called.” I try to keep it together. I try so, so hard. But a sob wracks me before I manage to hang up.
As I toss the phone aside, tears roll, hot and acidic, down my cheeks. I draw my legs to my chest, resting my head on my knees. What the hell is up with him? Why did he have to be so condescending?
He’s a manwhore. He warned you. He told you flatly that none of what you did together would matter to him. He’s just being true to his word.
Still, did he have to be so dismissive? All he had to do was communicate like an adult, yet he chose derision. Listening to that woman’s pouty, wheedling voice in the background was hard enough. But hearing an entirely different side of Jonathan is like a stab in the heart. Everything he’s shown himself to be during our last few weeks together—kind, understanding, supportive, stalwart—he was the exact opposite just now. I should have hung up when I had the chance.
“Kiera?” Kami calls from outside my door.
Shit, my tears must have caught her attention.
“Don’t worry,” I manage to croak out.
“Screw that. What’s wrong?” She opens my bedroom door and sits beside me, taking my hand in a comforting squeeze.
“I’ll be fine,” I insist against my thighs, head bowed.
“Bullshit. Girl, you’re ugly crying. Come here.” She pulls me into a hug as I dissolve into more sobs. “It’s okay. Let it out.”
I do. I cry hard for long minutes until I feel a headache form and I have no more tears to shed. Until I’m left with exhaustion and a feeling of utter emptiness.
“God, I’m so stupid.” I pull from her embrace and swipe at my eyes.
“Why?” She hands me a tissue box from my nightstand.
“Jonathan invited me to lunch last weekend. I told him about everything in my past, even Chad. He seemed not merely understanding but ready to defend me against the asshole. Then he took me to his place, and we spent an amazing night together. He made me feel so good about myself.” I shake my head as I clean up my face. “No, it was more. He made me feel special, like I was the only woman who mattered to him. And tonight, he’s with someone else.”
Sympathy softens her face. “I’m so sorry, honey. Don’t take this the wrong way, but only you would go into an agreement to learn how to hit-it-and-quit-it and be surprised when he does.”
Despite my sorrow, I have to laugh at myself. “You’re right.”
“If it’s any consolation, we’re young. We’re supposed to make mistakes.”
“I’m a quarter of a century old. I shouldn’t be letting my emotions dictate my actions anymore.”
She tsks. “We’re also human. It’s in our nature to feel. No one can help that.”
“I wish I wasn’t feeling what I’m feeling right now.”
In fact, I’m not supposed to be feeling anything at all for this man. But since day one, I’ve struggled not to.
“I worried this might happen.”
“What?”
Kami grabs me by the shoulders. “Kiera, I’m proud of you for pushing yourself out of your comfort zone. You’ve done your best to open your mind, and I think you’ve grown from that. But as shitty as his behavior was tonight, you can’t deny he did exactly what he said he’d do.”
She’s right, and I have no right to be upset. Still, I can’t help feeling devastated. “I know.”
