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“I was short on it when it came to the topic of adultery because I didn’t fully understand it. Not until I found myself walking in your shoes in Dallas.”
Graham jerked his head back in surprise. “You-you had an affair?”
“Yes.”
“Okay. A coworker?”
“No, a defense attorney.”
Graham paused and stared at me. I could tell the wheels in his mind were spinning.
“Did you fall in love with him?” he finally asked.
“Yes.”
“Are you still in love with him?”
“Yes.”
“Who ended the affair?”
“I did.”
“Was he good to you?”
“Yes.”
“So why did you end it?”
I blew out a hard breath. “It was just time.”
“And are you okay?”
“I’m up and down—about everything that’s going on in my life.”
Graham took another sip of his gin and tonic. “Why did you wanna tell me about all of this?”
“So I could tell you this: I’m sorry for not being the wife and friend that you needed the last four years of our marriage and I’m sorry for making you feel like you had to turn to someone else.”
“Stevie, you did the best you could after we lost Malcolm. I should’ve been more of a man and not given in to my loneliness.”
The words between us stopped and we just looked at each other. Graham was still holding my hand and gently rubbing his thumb across the top of it.
“How about you and I make a deal,” I finally said.
“What kind of deal?”
“From this day forward, let’s not beat up ourselves over the mistakes of our pasts. Let’s just embrace the lessons.”
Graham nodded “Sounds good to me. May I tell you the main lesson that I learned from all that we went through?”
“Yes.”
“I don’t know if you’d categorized it as a lesson. It’s more of a realization.”
“Okay.”
“I realized how much I love you, Stevie. I’m still in love with you, and I told you those same words on the day I drove away from our house for the last time.”
