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“I remember.”
“Is there any part of you that still loves me?”
I looked over Graham’s handsome face, appreciating everything that I saw. In him, I could see my youth, my innocence, my faith, and so many years of happiness before we lost Malcolm. We faltered then and turned away from everything good when there was still so much good in life. So much good still between us. We just couldn’t see it. No, I couldn’t see it. Graham still did and he’d tried to clear my vision, but I gave upbecause I felt as if life had given up on me. God had. I was wrong, though. So very wrong.
“Yes. I realized on the day you drove away from our house for the last time that I was still in love with you despite all the heartache between us. I hated seeing you leave, Graham. I-I hated seeing the back of your truck loaded up with all those boxes of your belongings, but it was too late,” I choked out.
Graham set down his glass on the coffee table and when he turned back to look at me, he reached up and cradled my face in his hands. His eyes were brimming with tears just like mine and he was breathing deep like I was too.
“Stevie, is it too late for us to try again? Would you be willing to give me a second chance?”
“I don’t know. I mean…”
I looked down at Graham’s lips, then leaned closer and pressed mine against them. Then I closed my eyes. Graham sighed and so did I, and then our gentle kiss quickly became more. It wasn’t just our lips touching now. Our tongues were too and feeling the heat of Graham’s entangled with mine made me want even more of him.
I remembered this kiss of his. I also remembered the taste of his tongue. Graham had always been a passionate kisser and he was also a passionate lover. The sex we used to have was good, but I was who shut all of that down between us. Not anymore, though. Right or wrong, I wanted my ex-husband. I wanted to feel him all overandinside me again. Having sex with him didn’t equate to a “yes” for a second chance because I didn’t know if I wanted that to happen. It just meant that I needed to be close to Graham tonight. I thought maybe if I could, then I’d stop visualizing Zac every time I looked at him.
I pulled my mouth away from Graham’s and then reached for the hem of his t-shirt. He raised his arms into the air and after I dropped his shirt onto the living room floor, I ran my handsdown the front of Graham’s hairy chest and abs. He’d always had a good physique and I had always been attracted to his body.
When I reached for the snap on Graham’s blue jeans, he grabbed my hand.
“Stevie, what are we doing?” he breathed out, staring straight at me.
“You know what we’re doing.”
“As much as I want you, the timing of this isn’t right and we both know it. It’s too fast.”
“Was our kiss too fast?”
“No. Having sex would be, though.”
“Why do you think that?”
“Because it wasn’t that long ago that you ended your affair. Right?”
“Right.”
“Being with me like this won’t fix your heart. I can tell how much you’re still hurting and you need more time to heal. Me getting a second chance with you is irrelevant at this point and my pushing the pause button is for both of us.”
I looked down at Graham’s chest and abs again and then met his gaze. “Okay. I’m sorry about all of this tonight. It’s just that I…”
“Wanted to forget his memory for a little while?”
I swallowed hard. “Yes.”
“I tried doing that too, with my memory of you, but it never worked. I always saw your face whenever I looked at Emma’s.”
Graham grabbed his t-shirt off the floor and put it back on. Then he pulled me into his arms and just held me. I rested my head on his shoulder while he rested his cheek against mine—and we both breathed. It wasn’t long after that that he told me that he needed to leave. Before he did, though, he asked me about going on a Halloween hayride with him on Saturday in Georgetown.
“You know I love spooky stuff,” I said.
“Yes, I do. We’ll go asold friends. How does that sound?”
I smiled. “It sounds good to me. I know we’ll have fun. We always used to.”
“Yeah, we did. We’ll need to leave here around six. Does that work for you?”
“Sure. I’ll bring some blankets for us.”
