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“He’s having this non-relationship with a woman who is falling for him—a woman who wants him to forget his ex-girlfriend so they can be together for real.”
I stare at her, but she’s looking away from me now, the hurt and pain on her face telling me everything she’s not saying.
Her eyes are shining too brightly as they meet mine once more. “That’s why I can get over the pain Lucas caused me. I’m over it. I’m over him. But not you. I’m falling for you, Ben.”
I’m still in shock. “It wasn’t supposed to be like that with us.”
Even though I knew I was getting in deep, I never saw that she was, too. I knew she liked being with me because she could be herself, but this thing between us was only supposed to be a rehearsal for the real thing, for when she got over Lucas.
Which she apparently has now.
“I know,” she says. “We were supposed to be friends.”
She could have asked me for nearly anything, and I would have tried to give it to her. Why did she have to want the one thing I can’t give her? I can’t put myself through the torture of another relationship again. Even if I could get over Amber, I could never risk my heart like that.
And I don’t know how to hold on to Lainey or her friendship any longer without doing so. I can never be what she needs me to be. Which shouldn’t be a surprise. When have I ever been what someone needs me to be?
“Now that you know, I’m going—”
“Tell me how it ends first,” I say, cutting her off.
I might understand why everything is over between us, but I still can’t seem to let her go. It’s hard enough to know we’ll never spend another night together without adding in the fact we’re never going to hang out again.
Finally, after a pause that feels like forever, she says, “It’s not finished.”
“But you know how it’s going to end, don’t you?”
“He gets back together with his ex, and they live happily ever after.”
“And the other girl? The one who’s in love with him?”
Lainey shrugs. “She gets over him.”
“You’re not writing us together?”
She shakes her head. “I wanted you to have your happy ending, and you were never going to be happy if that ending included me.”
“Lainey,” I call when she starts walking away from me again.
“I’m sorry,” she says, looking over her shoulder at me. “I can’t do this anymore, Ben. We’re over, and I need some space to get over you.”
She enters the house, and I collapse on the bench Lucas and Lainey were sitting on just a few minutes ago. Every woman in my life has walked away from me. I should be used to how it feels. But this hurts a thousand times worse than anything before.
When Amber and I broke up, I was angry, hurt, and bitter. Watching Lainey walk away from me doesn’t feel like that, though. Instead, it feels as if my world is spinning out of control. Being around Lainey made me feel... better. About everything. She brightened the way. Now it feels like there’s nothing in my foreseeable future but darkness and misery.
It feels like the end of the world.
