AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Lainey
On Sunday morning Iwake up feeling as if my heart has been ripped out of my chest and put in a blender with lemon juice and salt. I have messages on my phone from Cass and Lucas. None from Ben. No surprises there. Our friendship, our non-relationship, is over. I told myself that ending things now would mean less pain in the long run. Considering how much I’m hurting this morning; it’s just as well I got out when I did. I dread to think about the agony I’d feel if things had continued any longer.
The last thing I feel like doing this morning is getting out of bed, but I promised Cass I’d handle this break-up differently, and I’m determined to keep that promise. I made plans during my cab ride home last night so that I didn’t have the option of sleeping in.
After I force myself out of bed, I go through the motions of getting ready to go out, and then I drive to my father’s house.
“Hello, Lainey,” Elkie says when she opens the door for me.
“Hi.” I wipe my feet on the mat at the door and enter my childhood home. “Thank you.”
I’m not sure how Dad is going to react to seeing me. Last time I was here, he told me to leave because I took my sister’s side. But I’m determined to go through with the speech I’ve been composing in my head. I’m letting the wave of momentum from last night carry me through. Ending things with Ben was devastating, but I did it. I came through for myself and put myself first. I didn’t hold on to Ben when I could have. I didn’t expect more from him than he could give me. It’s time to come through for myself again.
Elkie closes the door behind me. “I’m glad you’re here. He’s been very subdued since Tara’s news. He hasn’t said much at all.”
Did I have any impact on him the last time I was here?
“Perhaps you can talk to him,” my stepmother suggests. “Try to convince him to call Tara and apologise.”
“I tried last time,” I say, facing her. “Are you trying?”
“He knows I’m not happy with him, and I’m sure he regrets the things he said. I just wish he’d hurry up and come to terms with things. Anyway, you go right on through. Your father is in the living room. I’ll bring in a tray of tea.”
I smile at my stepmother—a woman who has been as much a stranger to me as Tara has. I made every attempt to get along with her when I was younger, because I knew it was expected of me, and I wanted to please my father, but it was a superficial effort because I was all too aware that I wasn’t her daughter in the same way Tara was—that I’d never fit into this family. That I was different.
Wondering just how much of what I believed is truth and how much is my perception, I wander the halls of my childhood home. It’s large and has always felt cold. Today is no different, and the temperature is even colder in the living area where I find my father.
“Hi, Dad.”
I stand there for a moment, waiting for him to acknowledge me.
He’s reading a newspaper, and he very slowly puts it down on the side table.
“Lainey.”
“Did Elkie tell you I was coming?” I ask, sitting down in the pristine white armchair opposite him.
He puts his hands on the armrests of his chair, like he might get up at any tick of the clock. “She mentioned it. I was surprised to hear you wanted to come back after dinner the other night. After the way you think I treated Tara.”
I ‘think’ he treated Tara terribly, but we can talk about that later. First things first.
“I have some things I need to talk to you about.”
“Don’t tell me you’re pregnant, too, Lainey.”
Instead of sounding commanding or disapproving, he sounds tired and looks exhausted.
“I’m not pregnant, Dad.”
“Well, that’s something.”
“Is it? You might consider what I’ve come to say worse.”
“There’s not much you could say that would surprise me, Lainey.”
I don’t think he means it as a compliment, but I square my shoulders, take a deep breath, make sure I’m sitting up straight and look him in the eyes. “I don’t know if you know this, Dad, but I quit my job at the magazine a while back.”
“You know I didn’t like that job anyway. But if you mean to tell me your only source of income is Dixon’s—”
