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“I know you saw me with Sienna. I didn’t mean to hurt you by talking to her.”
“It didn’t look like you were just talking to her. And you did hurt me. Instead of coming back with a drink, you walked off sulking and started flirting with someone else.”
“I was messed up after seeing Lucas and Amber, and I screwed up. Old habits die hard. That’s the truth, not an excuse.”
She nods but doesn’t look placated. She looks like she’d rather be anywhere else but here with me. Desperation slides through me and I reach out and take her hand, resisting the urge to caress her soft knuckles like I have a hundred times these past few weeks.
“I know it won’t be easy, Lainey, and I know I messed up tonight, but I’m hoping we can go back to being friends. It’s going to be a bit awkward at first, but—”
“I just don’t think it’s possible, Ben.”
“Of course it’s possible.” It has to be possible.
She shakes her head. “When we were discussing this non-relationship in the beginning, you never sounded like you were sure that we could go back to being just friends.”
“I’m sure now.”
She breathes out a sigh. “But I’m not.”
I let go of her, feeling as if she’s just hit me. “Lucas broke your heart and you can forgive him, but you can’t forgive me for flirting with another woman?”
“I’m over Lucas. That’s why I can forgive him. I’m sorry, Ben. I just think we might need a little time apart before we attempt to be friends again.”
I can barely think through the pain tearing me apart. I don’t understand why she wants out of this friendship when us being friends has always seemed to matter so much to her. She doesn’t want Lucas and she says she’s over him, yet she’ll be friends with him again. Me, on the other hand, she’s going to cut loose.
“I’ll find my own way home tonight,” she says, trying to leave me again.
“Wait,” I say, unable to let her go like this. I still can’t compute what’s happening. I can’t believe we’re over in every way—that she doesn’t want or need my friendship anymore. “Are you writing a new book?”
Even in the pale moonlight, I can see the colour which was high on her cheekbones suddenly disappear. My stomach dips even though I don’t understand her reaction. I just know that whatever she’s writing about is significant. I suppose the fact that Duncan mentioned it to me in the first place testifies to that.
“Why do you want to know?”
“You never told me you were working on something new.”
“But clearly someone else did,” she mutters.
“You always talk about your projects with me. Why did you avoid talking about this one? What’s it about?”
“I don’t see how that matters now.”
Neither do I, but I hope I will once she explains it to me. “Why don’t you let me be the judge of that?”
“It’s about a guy and a girl,” she says on a sigh. “The guy is still in love with his ex-girlfriend.”
The moment her eyes land on mine, I feel short of breath. “You’re writing about me?”
“The lead character is loosely based on you.”
“Shouldn’t your main character be female?”
“Not this time.”
“So what’s his story?”
“I told you, he’s still in love with his ex.”
“And? Where’s the tension? The conflict?”
