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Neither of us would be here, and Alejandro wouldn’t be gone if it didn’t matter to us.
How could I tell him the truth?
“What if I had sex with another man?” I ask quietly and brazenly.
I can’t vouch for him. I don’t know if my words have the slightest effect on him.
All I know is that my core tingles, and talking about having sex with another man when we both know we are talking about Alejandro gets me wet between my legs.
And it’s wrong, so, so wrong.
It’s like some sort of role-playing for people who like to experience pain and pleasure at the same time. And the pain is bad––like a blade stuck in our backs kind of bad.
He slowly scrapes his bottom lip, looking down. Evading my eyes. His smile is more than telling.
This story gets him hard.
Maybe it’s about more than the pain and sexual gratification.
Perhaps he thinks of ways of punishing me.
“I wanted to make sure you were safe,” he says abruptly, shattering the magic of the moment.
His sharp gaze catches me unprepared.
“Safe? As in safe sex?” I toss at him, mostly joking.
“Just safe,” he deadpans, pivoting away from me.
I watch his back, flabbergasted.
He got me. He fucking got me.
With his smooth talk and conflicting emotions.
I thought I had him for a second, and he just pulled the rug from under my feet.
He glances at my purse and the contents scattered all over the bed. My phone in particular.
Something about him spending time thinking about things while staring at my phone makes me nervous.
I push off the table, walk around him, and stop in front of him. Blocking his retreat.
“Why are you really here?” I ask, my hands latched onto my hips.
His eyes come to mine and dip only once, nothing showing on his face.
“I wanted to learn more about you,” he says, his head tilted back a little, a smirk creasing his lips.
“And what did you learn?”
“That you’re afraid… Why are you so afraid of me?”
I bite my lip before I speak again.
“I’m not afraid of anyone, especially you.”
He smiles. His grin never reaches his eyes.
