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It just happens that I took away that pleasure from him and mirrored his moves, only to find out he hated it with passion.
Sometimes, like now, that kind of knowledge hurts. And being deprived of his sweet little pleasure surely affects him.
Although I can’t tell just by looking at him.
He seems very much in control.
So we’ve done a lot of back and forth, but it’s never been like this.
We’ve allowed too much stuff to happen and pull us apart.
Too many things, unaccountable hours, secrets, and not-so-secret stories and people.
To some degree, we are two strangers struggling to reconnect.
“Would you consider me naive if I had sex with someone else?”
My tongue trips over the words.
He laughs.
“You’re so easy,” he says, somewhat entertained.
I gesture at him dismissively.
“Whatever you wanted to say with that, I find it disrespectful.”
“It wasn’t intended that way. I wasn’t talking about easy as in being easy to sleep with.”
“I know… I know. I know exactly what you wanted to say. You think you’re clever because you set me up.”
He closes the space between us.
“I didn’t set you up,” he says calmly, his smile fading. “I wasn’t talking about having sex with someone else.”
I freeze and look at him as if I can barely suppress the dark sins I need to confess. His eyes move back and forth while getting a good reading of my soul.
He knows what happened.
I don’t know if Alejandro has told him or if he suspects it.
I can’t rely on my body when it comes to concealing the clues, either. He could probably tell, but even so, maybe he wants me to confess.
Perhaps he wants to know if it means something to me.
If there’s a reason why I’m hiding it. If I have a soft spot for Alejandro.
He knows it’s not Francisco.
He knows Francisco and I had spent some time together yesterday afternoon. Before the dinner party.
He must suspect it’s Alejandro. And if he’s fishing for information, seeking direct confirmation of this from me… It means Alejandro has kept his mouth shut.
Hence the rift between them.
Is he a bit masochistic? Yeah. Probably.
He wouldn’t want to know for sure if it didn’t give him pain.
