Page 84 of Certified to Handle You 3

He looked over when I walked in and smiled.

“Damn baby,” I ain’t know you was comin’ over.”

Before I could answer, he walked toward me and pulled me into a hug. I let him hold me for a second, and that made what I came to do feel even worse. When he let me go, I nodded and looked down at the keys in my hand.

“You good?” Couture asked.

“Yeah,” I said low, even though I knew I wasn’t.

I started workin’ his key off my ring.

Couture watched my hands and his face changed before I even got it loose. “What you doin’ Sha’Nelle?”

I ain’t answer him right away. I finally pulled the key free and held it out.

He looked at it, then back at me. “Sha’Nelle, why you givin’ me yo’ key?”

I swallowed and reached into my purse. My fingers closed around the ring, and when I pulled it out, Couture went quiet.

I held it toward him with the key. His eyes dropped to my hand, and I could see the confusion settle across his face. He looked like he was tryna figure out what had happened between yesterday and this mornin’ even though the truth was that this had been happenin’ for a long time.

“What is this?” he asked.

My eyes started burnin’, but I refused to let the tears fall yet.

“I can’t keep doin’ this to you.”

Couture frowned. “Doin’ what?”

I looked at him and forced myself to say it plain. “Actin’ like I want the same life you want with me when my heart ain’t in it.”

He just stared at me…

I could tell he wasn’t expectin’ that answer, and that hurt to see ‘cause Couture had been movin’ like we was really headed somewhere together. In his mind, we was.

I kept my voice low ‘cause I ain’t wanna turn this into no big fight.

“You need to be with somebody who want what you want from you. Somebody who wanna look at houses with you and actually be happy about where y’all gon’ live. Somebody who wanna plan a weddin’ with you and ain’t sittin’ there feelin’ wrong every time the shit get brought up.”

Couture looked down at the ring in my hand again. “So you just done?”

My throat tightened, but I nodded. “I gotta be.”

He took the key and ring from me, and that tiny movement made my chest hurt worse than I expected. I looked at his hand closin’ around both of them and knew that whatever happened after today, I had finally stopped pretendin’.

Couture was quiet for a few seconds before askin’, “Why now? What brought this on… I mean… what the fuck, Sha’Nelle?”

I blinked hard and looked away for a second ‘cause the tears was right there. “’Cause I can’t keep lettin’ you plan around me when I know I ain’t in this the way you are. That ain’t fair to you.”

His face looked hurt, and I hated that I put that look there.

“I should’ve told you sooner,” I said. “I’m sorry for that. But I’d rather tell you now than wait until we get all the way to a weddin’ and I ghost you or stand there knowin’ damn well I don’t wanna go through with it.”

He rubbed his hand over his face and looked at me like he had a hundred questions. I knew if I stayed, I was gon’ end up answerin’ shit I wasn’t ready to answer or hearin’ him say somethin’ that made me second-guess what I already knew.

“I gotta go,” I said.

“Sha’Nelle. You serious right now?”