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Kane did have one thing right. Matt was a fantasy. A safe haven where he could pin his affections. Maybe it was time to stop hiding behind the safety of yearning for the unattainable. Put an end to the loneliness.
Face his fears. Starting tonight.
***
Matt
Matt couldn’t go to his apartment to relax after he picked up Jimmy from daycare, because he’d promised his mom he’d bring the baby to her place for a family dinner tonight. She was making her “famous lasagna,” which she thought was his favorite meal. Marinara sauce gave him terrible heartburn, but he didn’t have the heart to tell her.
Groaning, he unbuckled his son from the car seat in front of her house and carried him toward his childhood home. All he wanted was a shower and to go to bed, but it would have to wait.
His mother waited on the front porch, her arms open to take the little boy. “My baby! Come see Gi-Gi.” She hugged Jimmy close, and he squirmed to get down on the floor. Laughing, she obliged as soon as they stepped inside. “It does my heart good to see my two favorite boys.”
Turning to Matt, she patted his cheek. “You look tired, baby. Why don’t you sit down? Dinner will be ready in a few minutes.”
He dropped to the sofa with a grunt and watched his son totter around the living room before laying down on his stomach in front of the TV and promptly falling asleep. It was tempting to close his eyes and follow suit.
But it would be rude.
“How was your day, Mama?”
“Fine. Just fine.” Her voice had almost a singsong quality when she was in a good mood. She filled up two plates with food and set them on the table. “I spent most of the day with Mrs. Kennedy. The lady loves to talk. It’s a shame her kids don’t come visit her more often. She gets so lonely.”
She talked more about the elderly residents she attended during the day as he settled down with her at the dinette to eat. She waited until the meal had nearly ended before the conversation turned south. “When is the last time you talked to Patty?”
He chewed slowly, considering his words. Ultimately, he was too tired to soften them much. “Last night, when she called me out of the blue to take Jimmy.”
His mother tutted. “You need to work things out with her.”
“We’re not having this conversation again, Mom.” Standing, he shook his head to silence her inevitable argument.
“I invited her over here.”
He froze, his mouth open slightly. “What?”
“You heard me. Now sit back down.” She shook her head as he ignored her command. “Patty Hayes is family. And family helps family. I raised you better than to turn your back on yours the way your father did.”
It always came back to this. “It’s not the same, and you know it. I am always there for my son, and I always will be.”
“And for Patty?” she pressed.
“Patty is not my wife, Mom.” He balled his fists. “It’s never going to happen.”
She slapped her hand on the table. “And that is the problem.”
“You don’t get a vote.” He stepped back, knocking the chair behind him to the ground with a harsh clatter. Forcing a deep breath, he bent over and picked it up.
His mother looked like he’d slapped her.
He laced his fingers, searching for calm. “Mama, Patty and I tried, but we weren’t ever really a couple. It’s not like you and Dad.”
She raised her eyebrow. “So, you just tripped on the way to the comic-book store, and your dick fell inside her?”
“Mama!” He’d never heard her say the worddickin his life. Not even during their extremely awkward sex talk in seventh grade.
“Don’tMamame, Matthew. If you’re old enough to do it, you’re old enough to talk about it. I’m perfectly capable of speaking frankly. Are you?”
“With my mother? No.” He buried his head in his hands.
