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There's a moment of silence on the other end of the line. Then Lisa speaks, her voice filled with compassion. "Chloe, honey, you need to think about what's best for everyone involved, especially the kids."
Her words hit me like a ton of bricks. I know she's right, but hearing it out loud makes it feel so much more real. "But how do I know what's best?" I ask, my voice barely above a whisper.
"You need to listen to your heart," Lisa says softly. "But also use your head. Think about Penelope, about Zola. Think about the kind of environment you want for them. I know you, Chloe, and you have a heart of gold. You care so much about those kids. I know that you'll do the best for them."
I nod, even though she can't see me. Deep down, I know what I have to do, but the thought of it breaks my heart.
"Thank you, Lisa. Thank you so much," I whisper, sniffling loudly. "I… I need to tell him."
"Go ahead, honey. And if you need a shoulder to cry on, mine's ready and available."
Swallowing hard, I hang up the phone and let out a deep sigh. God, why can't the ground just swallow me whole already?
After my talk with Lisa, I pace back and forth in my living room, my heart pounding in my chest. The weight of what I'm about to do feels crushing, but I know it's necessary. I texted Rendal to come over, and he responded almost immediately that he was heading over. I glance at the clock, realizing Rendal will be here any minute. My palms are sweaty as I wipe them on my jeans.
The doorbell rings, startling me. I take a deep breath, trying to steady myself before opening the door. Rendal stands there, offering a small smile. "Hey," he says softly, stepping inside.
"Hi," I reply, my voice barely above a whisper. "Thanks for coming."
We move to the living room, sitting on opposite ends of the couch. The distance between us feels symbolic, and it breaks my heart. Rendal looks at me, his eyes searching mine. "What's going on, Chloe?"
I take another deep breath, willing myself to be strong. "Rendal, I... I've been thinking a lot about us, about our situation." My voice trembles slightly, but I force myself to continue. "I care about you so much, and I know you care about me too. But..."
Rendal leans forward, his brow furrowed. "But what, Chloe?"
"But I think we need to take a step back," I say, the words feeling like sandpaper in my throat. "This situation with Valeria, with Zola... it's not fair to anyone. Especially not to the kids."
Rendal's face falls, and I can see the pain in his eyes. "Chloe, please. We can work through this. I know it's been tough, but-"
I shake my head, cutting him off gently. "Rendal, listen. You need to focus on Zola right now. She needs her dad, and she needs you to have a good relationship with her mom. And I... I need to focus on Penelope."
Tears start to form in my eyes, but I blink them back.
"I think we rushed into this, Rendal. We both have so much baggage, so many responsibilities. Maybe we need some time to sort things out separately before we can be together."
I watch as Rendal's face crumbles, his eyes pleading with me to reconsider. My heart aches, but I know I have to stay strong.
"Chloe, please, we can find a way to make this work," he says. The pain in his tone almost makes me waver, but I force myself to shake my head.
"I have to do what's right for Zola and Penelope," I reply softly, fighting to keep my voice steady. "This isn't goodbye forever, but we need to step back and figure things out separately."
Rendal leans forward, his jaw clenching. I can see the struggle in his eyes, and I know that he's fighting against the idea of giving up. That's not like him. He hates giving in. "We've come so far, Chloe. We can't just throw it all away," he argues, his voice raspy.
But no. I take a deep breath, steeling myself. "Rendal, I care about you deeply. But right now, our priorities need to be our children. Zola needs you to focus on her, to build a stable co-parenting relationship with Valeria. And Penelope... she needs me to be fully present for her."
Rendal stands up abruptly, pacing the room. His frustration is palpable, radiating off him in waves. "This isn't the right decision, Chloe. We're stronger together. We can face these challenges as a team."
I stay seated, watching him move back and forth. His words tempt me, make me want to give in. But I know in my heart that this is the right choice, no matter how painful.
"I'm sorry, Rendal," I say firmly. "But my mind is made up. We need this time apart to sort things out."
He stops pacing, turning to face me. I can see the moment he realizes I won't budge. His shoulders slump slightly, but he doesn't break down. Instead, he nods curtly, his jaw set.
"If that's what you think is best," he says, his voice gruff. Frustration teems off of him and it hurts to see him like this. "I don't agree… but I'll respect your decision."
CHAPTER 22
Rendal
