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“And Damon. What about him?” She’s pushing and pushing, and I don’t like this. I like my cocoon when it comes to my decisions.
I prefer standing by Harv and believing he has good reasons for pushing me away.
A part of me can’t let go of what we had prior to the accident. Sure, it might’ve been just over a year in the span of things, but to me it meant the world.
Our bond meant the world to me, and now I’m not sure how to cut ties with it.
“I don’t know,” I whisper. “He’s a closed book. But he’s not in a wheelchair.”
She nods. “Believe it or not, though, I think it’s time Harvey realizes there are worse things in life. I know you don’t see it, but it’s the truth. Harvey’s still alive, our mother isn’t. Yet he chooses to waste his days cooped up in his room, drowning you with him.”
“That’s not... that’s not true.” My defenses close up all around me.
“Tell me this then... if Harvey decides to have sex with you, you’ll forget all about Damon?”
I feel empty. So, so empty.
I wrap the blanket tighter around my shoulders, leaning my head on the couch and staring at the wall behind her.
“You don’t even have to answer Gem... it’s written allover your face. You’re falling for your boss,hard. Is Harvey too late?Is he?”
I don’t deny her truth.
I don’t say anything.
I don’t relish in the reality that she brought up. I already feel it. Deep down, deep in the dusty particles of my bones, I know Damon and I share something special, different, a feeling I’ve never grasped before.
“What would you do? What do you think?” I ask her next in hushed tones.
She must smell the desperation or hear it in my voice because she’s nice and tender when she answers me.
“Follow your heart... This thing with Damon—I’ll be honest, I don’t like it. You’re going to fall so hard, and he won’t be there to catch you, he won’t. You know it deep down. But maybe.” She looks away. “Maybe you’ve given Harvey all that you can.
“It might break you... it might not lead you to DamonorHarvey... but maybe you’re meant to learn things along the way.”
“I’m scared,” I hear myself admit. “I really like him, Gia. And... I do... I love Harvey.” I clear my throat to keep my emotions in check. “I don’t want to hurt anyone.”
We’re silent for a little while before James comes and kisses the top of my sister’s head, offering me more bourbon. Gia shoos him away, telling him that booze won’t help me make better decisions.
Then we call it a night. She tells me that eventually things will mold into place. She doesn’t even have to say it, I know it. She thinks I’m being reckless, that I’m channeling my thrilling urges into my relationships.
I’m in the guest bedroom, my head on the pillow, reliving every detail of my night with Harv, everything Gia said.
Then Damon calls. It’s almost eleven o’clock, and I wonder what he’s been up to tonight.
“Hey.”
“Gemma.”
I swoon. Swoon over the simplest thing: my name leaving his lips. “Hi.” I blush and tingle all over. I feel as if my world is crushing down, and Damon’s there to make the weight more bearable.
“You left without saying goodbye.”
He’s right. I often make sure he doesn’t need anything before leaving work. Today I didn’t. I needed the space. I needed to go back home. If I’d gotten home later, would Harv have told me about kissing Claire?
“Purposefully,” I say.
“Why?”
