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Whichever one happens is completely up to him at this point.
* * *
For my firstday working by myself, it actually goes without a hitch. I took a few calls which I was able to transfer to intake for them to start the paperwork for potential new admits. There wasn’t a lot of work for me to do. A lot of bullshit paperwork that I’m still trying to figure out, but it’s a learning process.
It’s just another thing that I will figure out and master that shit.
The printer behind me begins to make a noise as a fax comes in. Spinning around on my chair, I slide it over to the machine and grab the piece of paper as it slides into the tray. I pull it out, my eyes scanning over it to see what it is exactly. It’s addressed to Dr. Conrad. I see that it’s a cover page with his name on it, so I flip to the next out of curiosity.
It’s from a specialist, talking about a pediatric patient named Penelope. This isn’t a facility for children. This is a drug and alcohol treatment facility. The only patients that we take care of here are all adults—over the age of eighteen.
As I read it more, I realize that it’s from a pediatric oncologist. My stomach sinks and suddenly I feel like I’m being too fucking invasive on something that isn’t my business. I quickly fold it and put them all back in order before deciding what to do. Usually I would just put it in his mailbox, but I feel like this is something he probably has been waiting for.
I grab the phone, typing in Dr. Conrad’s number, but I quickly hang it back up. If I call him about coming to get this paper, he’s going to know that I read some of it. Even if I take it to him directly, he’s probably still going to assume the worst, but I would rather take it to him than sit here awkwardly as he looks over it.
My chair slides back as I rise to my feet and push it back toward the desk. I swallow roughly over the anxiety that courses through my body. The last time that I stepped through those doors was with Killian. I’ve avoided it at all costs since he got here and so far, it has worked in my favor. Now I have to walk through the lion’s den to get to Dr. Conrad’s office.
I inhale deeply, my breath ragged as I muster as much courage as I can to walk through the door. I hold my name badge up to the small pad by the door. The light flashes green and I hear the lock click as it unlocks. My palm is sweaty as I grip the doorknob and pull it open.
The hallway is silent and empty. I let out a ragged breath, breathing a sigh of relief as I see that I’m alone. It’s almost seven o’clock, so most of the patients have already had dinner and are either in the common area or tucked away in their rooms for the night.
Either way, there’s no one around, so I just need to get in and out of here as quickly as possible so I don’t run into anyone.
A certain someone in particular.
My footsteps are light and quick as I stride down the hall toward Dr. Conrad’s office. When I reach the room, his door is slightly ajar. He isn’t always here this late in the evenings, but he mentioned to me earlier that he would be here until later tonight.
I curl my hand into a fist, knocking lightly on the doorframe.
“Come in,” Dr. Conrad calls out, his voice soft and warm. I walk into the room and he smiles brightly at me. It breaks my heart seeing him smile when I know that this letter is probably going to wipe it clean off his face. “What can I do for you, Ainsley?”
“Um.” I shift my weight nervously on my feet before quickly stepping up to his desk as I drop the papers onto it. “A fax came in for you and I wanted to bring it to you.”
Dr. Conrad’s smile falls, the color draining from his face as he picks it up. He slowly flips to the second page, his eyes doing a quick scan as I back away toward the door. He lifts his eyes, meeting mine.
“Thank you for bringing this to me,” he says, with a sad smile on his face.
I nod, silently responding in the most awkward way possible before slipping back out into the hall. I pull the door shut behind me. Even though it was ajar when I came here, I’m sure he probably wants it shut for now.
A shaky breath slips from me and I press my back against the wall to the side of his office door. My shoulders sag in defeat and I hang my head, closing my eyes as I attempt to calm myself. The emotions that I feel now are so fucking intense and sometimes over things like this—things that don’t even directly affect me.
It was a fucking letter for him about a little girl with cancer. I know that Dr. Conrad has a kid, but that’s all that I know. The tears fill my eyes in a rush before falling down the sides of my face. It’s safe to assume that little Penelope is his daughter. And my heart fucking breaks for the both of them.
“Ainsley.”
His voice is soft, abruptly breaking through my thoughts. His warm tone wraps itself around me, snaking into the darkest depths of my soul. I lift my head, my eyes meeting his deep green irises as he stands in front of me with a look of concern.
“What’s wrong, baby?” Killian asks quietly, instinctively reaching out to wipe the tears from the corners of my eyes. “Who the fuck made you cry?”
My heart betrays me, swelling in my chest as it beats erratically in its cage. Even after everything we’ve been through, he’s still always ready to go to war for me.
“Everything makes me cry now, Kill.” I shake my head at him, an awkward chuckle slips from my lips as a smile touches them. “No one made me cry, so you can just go ahead and unclench your fists and relax your shoulders.”
Killian doesn’t return my smile, but he visibly relaxes. He stares at me with a tormented look in his eyes. “I don’t like seeing you cry, baby girl. Not because of anyone or anything else except me.”
“Excuse me?” I retort, narrowing my eyes at him. I don’t know how the switch flipped so quickly and we’re already back to the old bullshit. “Get out of here with your fucking toxic shit.”
A sinister look passed through his eyes as his expression grows dark. Killian takes a step toward me, planting his hands on the wall beside my head as he cages me in. “That’s what we are, baby. We’re fucking poison. I’m the toxin and you’re my antidote.”
