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“Or it could be exactly what I think.”
The nurse comes in and takes blood, then sends me to the lavatory to pee in a cup. I’m nervous as I screw on the top and end up vomiting the remnants of what little breakfast I consumed into the toilet.
As we walk out of the office, Lexi leads me to a cab. On the way home, we talk.
“Lexi, suppose Lucian never wants to see me again.”
“Then you’ll deal with it. He’s hurting. Give him some time. In the meantime, what are you going to do about Jake?”
“I told him I want nothing to do with him. He can keep trying, but I’m not going to give in. I never loved him the way I love Lucian.”
“Olivia, I never asked you this. Why did you kiss Jake in the first place?”
“I wasn’t thinking—a couple of glasses of champagne, no food, and the moment. I was afraid because I knew that Lucian was going to ask me to marry him. I wish you never told me before that night.”
“I wish I didn’t either. What a mess. Do you want to stay with me tonight?”
“I need to go home in case Lucian comes by or calls me at three in the morning.”
“I doubt he would do that.”
“But he might.”
I know I was just fooling myself. Lucian wasn’t going to do any of that. He might not even come back to Manhattan. For all I know, he was making plans to live in Boston again. Or maybe he was planning to go back to the cabin for a prolonged stay.
Whatever his plans, when I found out my status, I wasn’t going to tell him if I was sick. I didn’t want him to come back because he felt obliged to care for me. I want him to come back because he loves me, and I would beg for his forgiveness.
Three long days I wait for my results. They were the worst three days of my life, not counting my separation from Lucian. He still hadn’t contacted me or anyone else. I was keeping tabs on him through Rory, who was kind enough to give me updates. He was spending time with his parents and working at Wilton.
Dr. Swanson calls me in the afternoon of the fourth day to give me my results. I was sitting in my office when the receptionist buzzed me to tell me the doctor was on line two. My hands shake as I pick up the receiver.
“Dr. Swanson, thank you for calling.”
“We got the test results back, and I think you’re in for a shock.”
“It’s back, isn’t it? I have cancer again.”
“No, you’re pregnant.”
My mouth gapes open. “Pregnant?”
“Yes, pregnant. All the symptoms you have are related to pregnancy. I suggest you make an appointment with your gynecologist as soon as you can. You need to adjust your diet and start taking prenatal vitamins.”
“But how? I take the pill.”
“Do you take it every day? Was there a time you forgot?”
I think back to when Lucian and I were first together at his cabin. We spent long days and evenings in bed. I might have forgotten to take my pills then.”
Mind racing, I automatically reply, “Thank you, doctor.”
“You’re welcome, and congratulations.”
The phone clicks on her end, and I sit with the receiver in my hand until it starts to buzz. I’m pregnant. I never thought I would have children even though I want them, and here I am, pregnant. This opens up a whole new can of worms. Lucian is so angry at me that I don’t want to tell him because he will surely come back to take care of me.
I want him to come back because he wants to work on our relationship. One the other hand, I’ve caused him enough heartache and to not tell him that I’m pregnant with his child is wrong. He needs to know.
I call Lexi to let her know my test results because I don’t want her worrying about me any more than she has already.
