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“Years of heartbreak. Picking the losers from a bunch of winners. I have a knack for it.”
“I don’t think Lucian is giving up on you. But this is your mess to straighten out. I can’t do it for you because I’m on his side before he was just being pigheaded. This time you were stupid. I love you, Olivia, but wake up and see what you have in front of you.”
“I’m afraid,” I whispered.
“Lucian would never hurt you. He loves you more than life itself. Can you imagine what he’s going through?”
“I’m not afraid of Lucian. I have a secret.”
“Another one? Shit, Olivia, you have to come clean with everything if you want a relationship with him to work.”
“This one is not so easy to tell. I don’t want him to suffer anymore.”
“What are you talking about?”
“I think I’m sick again.”
Zane just stares at me. “What do you mean? The cancer?”
“Yes. I have all the symptoms that I had last time. I don’t want Lucian to have to love me than lose me. Do you think he could survive losing two wives?”
“But you’re not sure. You should go to the doctor immediately. Why are you waiting? He will want to be there for you if you’re sick.”
“I don’t want that for him. He told me what he went through with Cassie.”
“Lucian is stronger than you think. Stop worrying about him and worry about getting yourself checked. It might be nothing. Maybe it’s not cancer, but if you don’t go to the doctor, you won’t know.”
“Suppose I am sick. Then what?”
“Then he will be there for you even though he is angry. You have many friends that love you. Matty loves you, and Lucian loves you even though he’s upset with you. He wants you with him. Make an appointment.”
I nod. “I will, I promise. Thank you, Zane.”
We both stand, and he hugged me. “I’m still pissed at you. Get your head together, girl. You two could be great together.”
Everyone has tried to reach Lucian, even Rory. He won’t respond to me, so he doesn’t know that I might be sick.
I finally tell Lexi, and she’s sitting in my doctor’s office, holding my hand. I know she’s trying to be brave, but I can see worry etched on her face. I pretend to page through a People magazine while I wait for the nurse to call me. I’m not reading the articles, just glancing at the words.
I’m especially exhausted today because I’ve gotten little sleep since Lucian saw me with Jake. Zane told me to take the rest of the day off, even though my appointment at noon would give me enough time to get back to the office.
When I’m called, Lexi joins me in the exam room. The nurse takes my vitals, and when she weighs me, I’ve lost seven pounds. Not good. The waist of my pants is getting loser, and now I know why. I didn’t realize I lost this much weight. Dr. Swanson comes in a few minutes later. She’s in her mid-forties with dark brown hair pulled back in a ponytail.
“What’s going on, Olivia?” she asks. “I see you lost weight since you were last here.”
“I haven’t been feeling well lately—a few weeks at least.”
“What are your symptoms?”
“I’m exhausted all the time, nauseous, fatigued. I have no appetite.”
“I want to order up a blood test and a urine analysis. I know with your history of cancer that you’re worried, but let’s not get ahead of ourselves. Once the tests come back, we can rule out other issues; then we’ll move forward to other testing.”
“Should I contact Dr. Carlyle?”
“Let’s get your tests first. I’ll put a rush on them, so we’ll have it back in three days.” She pats my shoulder and gives it a gentle squeeze before she leaves the room.
“Olivia, don’t worry. It might not be what you think,” Lexi says.
