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“Yes,” he said with a condescending tut. “Really! Someone like you, acting for such selfish reason? You should have taken better steps to protect yourself.”
“Selfish reasons? Everything I did, I did for Mestibes!”
Aurelius looked her over. A bitter smile crept on his face. “You’ve gotten good. Maybe I missed it happening. Because if I didn’t know better, I’d say you actually believed that shit.”
“I would have done it, Aurie,” she gasped. “Does that mean nothing to you? I would have given my entire life to a fiction. All to save our homeland.”
“And what an awful fiction it would have been. All that luxury? All that power? All those opportunities to show up the bitches back home who thought you were nothing?”
“To a man I didn’t love! To a man who could never love me back.”
“To a man that would have given you everything you wanted!”
“No, I—”
“Shut up!” he barked, baring his teeth. “You may have picked up a step, Tiggy, but I am a fucking master! If you gave a shit about Mestibes, you would have let me get on with my mission. You knew what I was doing. You knew my plans. And I had it all under control. Mestibes would have been saved just fine without your interference. Just like it has been now! But you stepped in and tried to fuck it all up!”
She turned, stung by his sudden anger.
“Don’t look away!” he hissed. “Don’t you dare look away! You want to play this game? You want me to tell the truth for once in my miserable life? Well, I just did. So at least have the guts to admit your own part! That you didn’t just do this for Mestibes, but to secure your family’s position! To secure your father’s fucking legacy! Deny it, Tiggy! Come on! Deny it, and let’s see how good you’ve really become!”
She shook her head. It wasn’t true! She was just trying to save innocent lives, not improve her own position.
“You could have warned me, Aurelius.”
He grunted. “I warned you every day we grew up together. I warned you with every man I fucked and discarded. With every bitch I betrayed and ruined. You saw the carnage. You heard the tales. You knew exactly what happened to those who got in my way!”
“Yes,” she said softly. “I just never thought you’d do it to me.”
Aurelius shook his head and picked up his bags. “For the gods’ sakes. Do you want to live your whole life as a victim? The woman who was playing me? I’ll admit it, she gave me a real run. She pushed me. She made me lift my game. And do you know what, that woman sure as fuck wouldn’t march back home to accept some bullshit punishment.”
Stick to the path, kiddo. Even if it terrifies you.
The refrain pounded in her head, mocking her failures. Mocking each and every way that she’d destroyed the path to patrician status carefully laid down by her father.
She put her hands over her face. “If I return, there is still some hope for my family. Punishment will be served. But if I run, then the Cosmin name will be disgraced forever! I already took everything from him! I can’t take his legacy as well!”
Aurelius looked at her with pity. “For fuck’s sake, Tiggy. You are his legacy! Not his surname or his reputation!”
The words hit hard, stopping her tears and breath in one staggering moment. “I... I...”
“Teigra, will you stop thinking about the storm and start thinking about the man! Will you stop punishing yourself and think about what he would have wanted for you! Exile or execution? Is that how you intend to honor his memory? Do you think for one single fucking second that this is the future that Andrin Cosmin would wish for you?”
“I... But...”
“Stop simpering and decide, Teigra! Right now! Either get in this carriage and accept the fate your mother and her precious senate have waiting for you. Or be the woman your father knew you could be and run!”
Teigra’s hands shook as she stepped to the carriage door. As she looked into the cabin beyond, her head swam with memories. Among the roiling black of that nightmare day, among the screams and tears, came the voice she longed to hear again.
And for the first time in years, it came without the baggage of blood and pain. It came as light as the breeze atop a steed. As golden as fresh hay. As pure and warm as the fifteen years before that moment.
And as her father’s face and voice embraced her once again, Teigra tried to imagine him standing in the crowd as she was tried for her crimes. She tried to imagine him telling her that she should accept her punishment for the good of House Cosmin. She tried to imagine him saying that she should suffer and be shamed and be sentenced.
And no matter what she did, not matter how hard she tried, the image would not form.
With a sudden intake of breath, Teigra grabbed the door. Then, with all her force, she slammed it shut.
And she ran.
