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“But nobody does except those invited,” he informs me with easy confidence. “It’s safe in the country.”
We walk up a gravel driveway and my hand flutters to my neck as I drink in acres of perfectly lined produce rows, lit by moonlight in patches, illuminated by solar lanterns on shepherd’s hooks in others. “It’s so big!”
“Seventeen acres.”
“Oh my God! This is all yours?”
“I’m still paying on it, but yes, this is all mine.”
I turn to him. “Ben, it’s beautiful.”
“Planting happens in stages, different times for different plants. And the fruit trees take up most of it.”
“Any animals?”
A frown tears into his handsome features. “Just hens for eggs.”
I silently nod, understanding without needing to hear it, that at some point a discussion — maybe many? — was had about bringing animals into this gorgeous property.
I can see why he wouldn't have cows, since that's his dad's business to supply milk for others, although maybe one or two to have some milk of their own. But he loves horses. And so does Jonny now that he got over the fear he had when he was younger. With kindness I offer, "I guess with all of the trees and produce, there isn't room for horses."
"There was,” he says with a heavy voice. “I’ve always wanted my own horses. Let me show you the house.”
My heart sinks for him, the sadness in his voice. Then skips a beat, thinking of us being alone inside. This is so confusing! All of these feelings I have for someone I just met. And until I met him, I've never been with a guy who made me worry I couldn't control my sexual desire. It makes me feel a little guilty wanting him this badly when I just heard the hurt in his voice. But Ben just reeks of masculinity. He makes me feel more like a woman than I ever have. Like we compliment each other, and we’re supposed to touch, to kiss, to be closer. Skin on skin is all I can think about. How that will feel.
His muscles.
Deep voice.
The way he walks.
Oh, how he walks.
Ben strolls like he just got off a horse. That kind of walk always makes me think that a man is well endowed. And from what I felt when we were in the shed, I have no reason to doubt it.
My body is awake to him in ways it never has been before. Sex, for me, has always been a part of a relationship, but when I’m with Ben it's almost all I can think about.
How his lips feel.
How strong his hands are.
How they felt pressing my arms above my head. How they ran down my back and dug in, possessing me.
Ever since we left the others, we’ve been just talking about our lives, everything in them, including some things we hope to do in the future. But it’s crazy! There was no reason why, when he said he might want to sell at a farmers market himself just for fun, that I would feel a stirring between my legs.
But I did.
Could it be that his excitement excites me? Is this what true connection feels like? An awakening? Like I’m in tune with him and more of myself at the same time? In sync to a point of depth that actually turns me on?
It's amazing.
Wonderful.
I don't want it to ever end.
But I have to be careful.
My heart is on the line.
