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“Yes.” Garin jerked his head in a frantic nod. “Yes, Sazahk, please.”
He wrapped his legs around Sazahk’s hips as Sazahk drilled into him. He twisted and squirmed, the muscles of his chest and shoulders bulging, but he never fought Sazahk’s hand pinning his to the floor and he never forced Sazahk’s head anywhere as he mussed Sazahk’s hair into a wild tangle.
Sazahk knew all Garin’s places. The spot under his cock, the seam along his scrotum. He knew the exact pressure he liked. And he knew the pace that would finish him.
Garin let out a broken wail. “Sazahk!”
“You’re close. I know. I know, Garin.” Sazahk bent double and nosed Garin’s sweaty temple. “You’re so close. You’re almost there. You’re safe. You’re okay.”
Soft words poured from Sazahk’s lips from some intuitive place inside himself that he’d never factored into his equations.
“You’re okay. You’re almost there. You’re so close, Garin, I can feel you. I can feel it in your body,” Sazahk murmured and soothed as he relentlessly worked Garin to orgasm. “You’re okay. Let me feel you come.”
“Sazahk, Sazahk, Sazahk, oh god!” Garin grabbed the back of Sazahk’s head and pulled their faces together as he came with a shout. His cock pulsed in Sazahk’s grip and spurted long ropes of semen up Garin’s chest and belly. His internal muscles clenched and rippled, catapulting Sazahk to his peak.
“Oh goddess,” Sazahk choked on a stifled moan as the sight and sound, smell, and sensation of Garin’s release overwhelmed him. He pressed back into Garin’s forehead, their cries and breaths mingling. “Garin, god?—”
Sazahk pumped his cock through Garin’s spasming heat, determined to bring Garin all the way through his climax. Then his own edge rose to meet him and he pulled out and covered his tip with his hand. Even exposure to the air didn’t stop his release from hitting him like a cruiser. He moaned as he exploded into his hand, filling his palm and dripping down onto their only bedsheets.
Ecstasy on the level of transcendence rolled down Sazahk’s spine, and warmth and contentment settled into his bones. He’d never felt so good in his life. He’d never known it was possible. He’d dismissed all reports of such feelings as hyperbole, if not downright fabrication.
He’d been wrong.
Garin kept his tight grip on the back of Sazahk’s head as they panted into each other’s mouths. Goddess, he was beautiful. Sazahk stared into his green eyes, still glistening with tears of exertion and overwhelming stimulation, brightened by the flushed color of his cheeks.
Slowly, those green eyes focused and cleared as the raucous release of hormones ebbed. They stared back into Sazahk’s and gave him the terrifying and exciting sensation of someone peeling back some layer of his armor with a loving, worshipful touch.
Garin’s fingers gentled in Sazahk’s hair, and he reached up and closed the breath of distance between their lips.
Chapter Ten
Garin’s fingers snagged in Sazahk’s hair and pulled viciously when Sazahk yanked back the moment before their lips touched.
“Shit.” Garin winced as the fine strands cinched around his knuckles, cutting off circulation. But the spasm of pain across Sazahk’s face as the hair tugged across his scalp made Garin want to cut the damn things off. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
“It’s not your fault.” Sazahk held still as Garin hastily freed his fingers from the snarled mess he’d made of Sazahk’s beautiful hair. “I shouldn’t have moved so suddenly.”
“No, no, I shouldn’t have…” Garin wished he could turn off the mycelium lights around them and hide in the darkness. “I shouldn’t have…”
“Attempted to kiss me,” Sazahk provided in his clinical, detached tone.
“That.” Garin’s chest cratered. His vision spun with the dizziness of the plummet from cloud nine to the emotional fetal position.
What the hell had he been thinking? What had he thought was going to happen? He hadn’t been fucking thinking at all. He’d gotten caught up in the amazing sex and the vulnerable discussion the night before and the sleeping in each other’s arms. Shit, though, was a kiss from him that bad? He knew what the colors that had flooded Sazahk’s face meant, the reds and oranges of terror and surprise.
“I’m sorry.” Garin wanted to curl into a ball but he couldn’t with Sazahk still sat between his legs, so he covered his face with both hands.
“It was a perfectly understandable emotional impulse given the moment.” Sazahk rustled and shifted on the blankets, but Garin didn’t open his eyes to see what he was doing. Probably cleaning off whatever he’d come in. Because it hadn’t been in Garin’s ass. He didn’t feel the telltale drip of spunk sliding out of him. Why hadn’t Sazahk wanted to come in him?
Garin didn’t have an answer, but that didn’t stop the weight of inadequacy from compounding his self-loathing.
“You’ve done nothing wrong.” Sazahk’s long fingers wrapped around Garin’s wrists and pried his hands from his face. Garin opened his eyes and tracked the colors undulating across Sazahk’s pretty features. The pink of sad, the purple of frustration, the blue of anger and the gray Garin hadn’t quite pieced together but wasn’t good. “But I couldn’t in good conscience allow you to execute on such an intimate gesture, brought on only by the temporary hormonal imbalance of a sex act performed for functional rather than emotional purposes.”
“Yeah, no, of course, I get it.” Garin sat up and scooted back to close his legs again. Goddammit, that hurt. “I understand.” He understood that he’d—foolishly, stupidly, idiotically, what the hell was wrong with him?—developed feelings for Sazahk that Sazahk did not return. That Sazahk had never once given him any reason to believe he returned or might conceivably ever return.
Functional.
Not emotional.
