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“It’s psychologically delicate to engage in these sorts of behaviors even for the purposes of scientific inquiry or physical regulation.” Sazahk sat back on his heels, his soft cock nestled between his thighs, and hooked his fingers together in an achingly uncertain gesture. “Neither of us has stated an interest in, or I believe, is in any position to pursue, a relationship with the sort of commitment and sense of obligation that such an act as kissing might imply, so given the aforementioned psychological delicacy, I didn’t want to allow an additional level of confusion.”
“And I appreciate that,” Garin assured him, forcing an assuaging smile onto his face. He wasn’t confused now. There was not a single level of confusion left in Garin’s mind, only the searing burn of embarrassment and the raw ache of rejection. “I was just a little…out of it.”
“You were overwhelmed.” Sazahk pulled a clean swab from his bag and hovered it over the congealing semen under Garin’s belly button. “May I?” Garin nodded and tried not to let the shame that he’d forgotten this was a damn science experiment show on his face. After Sazahk stowed his sample away, he fished out a pack of hygiene wipes and passed him one. “Overwhelming you was deliberate on my part, in an effort to bring you the maximum amount of pleasure I could.”
“Well, mission accomplished.” Garin injected some levity into his tone and glued his eyes to the wipe as he cleaned up the mess of his own cum across his chest. And the mess of lube around his hole that had no cum to speak of. Which made sense now that Garin’s brain had more blood in it and Sazahk’s position had been clarified. Sazahk had taken pains to ensure Garin’s consent and to avoid overly ‘intimate’ acts. He would never come inside Garin without explicit permission. “You’re very talented.”
Sazahk smiled with dark yellow cheeks as he wiped himself clean. “I’m calculated and attentive more than I’m talented, but I’m glad I pleased you.”
And gutted him, but Garin blocked that thought before it appeared on his face.
“I believe I’ve collected all the information I needed and observed enough to reach conclusions on the questions I had.” Sazahk stuffed his used wipe in a bag pocket and put on his own clothes. With their loud exertions wound down, the strangely adorable little creatures Sazahk called ‘Fauna A’ crept closer and nosed at their blankets. “Thank you very much for your participation.”
“Anytime,” Garin replied automatically, pushing the long-snouted, big-scaled creature away from the sleeping bag. Then he realized what he’d said. He couldn’t fucking take another round like that with Sazahk, only to be reminded Sazahk didn’t even want to kiss him. He couldn’t take it and he wouldn’t do it to himself. “Actually, no.” He tossed his own wipe and climbed out of the blankets now damp with his sweat. “If it can be avoided, I’d rather we didn’t have sex again.”
“Oh.” Sazahk’s higher pitch made Garin turn around, but Sazahk had his back to him as he dug through his chaotic bag. “Of course. That’s an entirely reasonable request and I will make every possible effort to ensure it’s satisfied.”
Garin watched Sazahk pull out various scientific tools and fought the ache in his throat.
The gray and pink on Sazahk’s hands almost made Garin take back his words. But he resisted. He wanted the sex, but he wanted more than that. He wanted Sazahk to want him like he wanted Sazahk. God, the thought felt pathetic.
He was like a teenager, shocked and dismayed by the casual cruelty of the world and struggling to comprehend how he could have feelings for someone, and they could just sit there and fiddle with microscopes while their saliva dried on Garin’s skin.
And Sazahk wasn’t even mean about it. He was just…not interested.
Garin turned to the sleeping bag and found a Fauna A backing out of it with Garin’s pants clutched in its grabby little hands. “Hey, stop that! That’s not yours.”
He snatched his pants back and the creature’s scales lifted and ruffled and shimmered with purple. It chittered at him and cocked its head.
“I only brought so many pairs of pants and I already lost some to a hot spring,” Garin told it as he pulled his pants and underwear back on.
The creature chirped and ambled past Garin to his bag.
“No, don’t.” Garin lifted the bag and moved it to the other side of himself. “There is nothing in there for you.”
“It’s unlikely to understand Universal.” Sazahk cocked his head at Garin in an uncanny mimic of the creature, with his dark eyes and colorful skin.
“I know that.” Garin scowled and put the bag in his lap and wrapped his arms around it while the Fauna A pulled on a strap, and another trotted over to get in on the fun.
“So why are you speaking to it?” Sazahk stood with his bag over his shoulder, probably off to amuse himself in some corner counting fungi.
“Well, I’m not going to grunt at it.” Garin took his shirt away from the second Fauna A and grappled it back over his head.
Sazahk chuckled, and the sound lightened Garin’s chest, despite the undercurrent of sadness it triggered. “The human capacity to anthropomorphize truly is unparalleled.”
Yeah, that wasn’t the only irrational thing humans were good at.
Garin watched Sazahk wander off, as predicted, to a corner of the cavern overflowing with colorful fungi. A small group of Fauna A followed at his heels, wrestling each other and yipping as they padded along.
They were pretty good at pining after impossible things, too.
They stayed in the cavern with the disruptor rod and the nest of Fauna A for three days, which Garin only knew from the clock on his tablet, because the mycelium-lit twilight never changed.
During that time, Garin lounged more than he had since his father died. There simply wasn’t anything for him to do. He’d serviced all their weapons, cleaned the guns, and sharpened the knives. He’d shaved every day. He’d mended every rip and tear in their clothes with his field sewing kit and he’d even scrubbed the nastier stains out of them to the extent that responsible resource conservation allowed.
He’d pored over the maps from Dom and scouted the surrounding tunnels as far as felt prudent, which, admittedly, wasn’t very far. The only thing that hurt worse than looking directly at Sazahk was not seeing him at all and not knowing if he was safe.
Taking clippings of fungi and recording the antics of the Fauna A for Sazahk’s research filled up some of the hours. Watching the little creatures just for fun filled out a few more.
