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CHAPTER 17
Isabella
When I get home, I have to dodge reporters just to get down my street. That’s a first, but I imagine it’s something I’ll have to get used to if Nathan is going to be in my life. Murphy is there waiting for me when I burst into tears in the doorway. He’s the only one here, now, because of my dumb insecurities. He’s such a good boy, though. He trots over and brushes up against my legs.
I make my way to the couch and plop down. I have a bunch of voicemails. Lila’s is the first I listen to. If I’m getting fired, I want to know. All she says is, “Call me,” in an ominous tone.
“Perfect.” I glance at Murphy. “I think this is rock bottom, buddy.” He lets his tongue hang from the side of his mouth and cocks his head.
Procrastinating will only make Lila more angry, and I do have my professional reputation to think of, so much as I don’t want to, I call.
“Lila?” I say when she picks up. “I’m so sorry. Please know this is not how I normally conduct myself—”
“Will you let me talk?” She interrupts. “Have you seen the interviews?”
“Interviews?” I say, confused.
“Just look up Courtney Warner,” is all she says.
I had a strange feeling when I passed her at the stadium. Any hope that this will all blow over fades to a distant memory. Courtney is like a dog with a bone. If she overheard what I suspect she did, she’s bound to be spreading it all over town.
I put my phone on speaker and look up the actress making my life harder than it already is. I click on the first clip.
“Nathan lied to me the whole time we were together. He has a daughter. One he’s never even met. He’s not the wholesome all-American boy he pretends to be. I mean, we’ve been together for months and he never even hinted that he had a kid. I was completely blindsided.”
I sigh, as I return the phone to my ear. “Lila, I don’t know what to say. I didn’t mean for it to all come out like this.”
“I ought to fire you, Miss Rossi. I hired you to clean up Nathan’s reputation, and make my team look good… you did neither of those things, but for better or worse, our team is getting more media coverage and attention than they have in years. Our sponsors and donors loved track and field day, and your assistant ensured that the gala went off without a hitch.”
“Is it all over the internet?” I ask, cringing.
“Oh, yeah. Courtney has been recounting every vivid, gory detail to anyone who will listen,” she says. Her voice suddenly softens. “Why don’t you take a few days? We can talk next week about where you want to go from here.”
Where do I want to go from here? That’s the question of the century at this point.
There’s a knock at the door.
“Coming!” I say. “Murphy, quiet. Lila, I’ll call you.”
When I open the door, Jules comes in and hugs me without saying a word or needing to be told. “I’m so sorry. What can I do?”
“I’m just glad you’re here,” I say. We go to sit on the couch. I lay my head in her lap so she can play with my hair. “Jules, what am I going to do?” All at once, the tears I thought I’d pushed aside come back. “What if she never forgives me?”
Jules looks down at me as she runs her fingers through the ends of my messy curls. “She will. You’re such a good mom, and Rory knows that. She loves you. I’m more worried about Nathan. Have you said anything to him?”
“No.” I flash her a guilty look. “I wasn’t very nice to him after we left the stadium.”
Jules nods in understanding, which is nice. I’m glad she isn’t lecturing me for once. “What do you want, Izzy? It’s time to make up your mind.”
“I can’t,” I say, sticking out my lip. Well, I don’t want to, but the point stands.
“Izzy, what is this really about? The big secret is out. Rory and Nathan know the truth. Aren’t you, like, relieved?”
I guess I am, in some way… but it feels like the death of a chapter of my life. Like a part of me has been defined by this secret for so long and now… now we’ve turned the page and this is unknown territory. I don’t know who I am if I’m not a single mom who ran away to change her life.
“I don’t know how to explain it,” is the explanation I give to my best friend because it’s true. I don’t know how to explain this to her, who has never experienced any of the things that I have. Her last serious relationship was a year ago and it only really lasted a couple of months. She has no frame of reference for my teenage crush, childhood obsession, turned baby daddy whom I’ve been avoiding because part of me is afraid of what our connection means. “I just don’t want to love him because of Rory. Like how can I tell if my feelings are real or if they are just because we have a daughter?”
“You just need to ask yourself how you’d feel if Nathan was with someone else. If Rory was heading over to his place for the weekend to hang out with him and his girlfriend—”
