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Yeah, I’d be jealous as hell if anyone else touched him. “Point taken,” I say, “but jealousy doesn’t automatically mean that I love him.”
“No one said you have to be in love with him today, just could you be someday? Are you falling in love with him?”
I’ve always loved him. That’s a truth that’s become clearer than ever over the last few days. Not that I’m ready to say that out loud, or tell Jules. I should tell Nathan first. That only seems fair. Still, the thought of going all in with Nathan terrifies me, but so does the thought of losing him. I’ve been doing this alone all these years, and honestly, I’m tired. I’m tired of being the strong one, of having no one to rely on. I am a fiercely independent person, and it is really hard for me to give up any ground… but I think I’m finally ready.
“I want to try… with Nathan.”
I can tell by her smile that this is the answer she wanted to hear. “Good, then maybe we can make it up to him?”
Yeah, right, because it’s so easy to make seven years up to someone. “How Jules? I didn't just lie to him, and cost him years with his daughter. I might’ve just ruined his career, too.”
“I have an idea.” I’ve known Jules long enough to be absolutely terrified of that conspiratorial smirk.
The next day, I get up early. Rory has soccer practice, and I want a chance to talk with her before we go. Jules stayed the night, but she’s out the door even earlier to get her plan underway. She has yet to tell me the details, but I gather it has something to do with Rory’s soccer practice.
When I get to Evan’s, he lets me in. Rory is in her soccer uniform, sitting at the kitchen counter, eating Lucky Charms. “Hey, Bug.”
“Hi,” she mumbles, not looking up from her breakfast.
I sit on the stool next to her, turned so I’m facing her. “Do you want to talk about this?”
She shrugs and idly stirs her cereal with her spoon.
“Do you have any questions?”
She casts me a sidelong glance. “Is Nathan staying? Like will I get to see him now?”
“Well, I haven’t talked to him, yet, but from what he’s said, I know he wants to be a part of your life.”
She finally turns to look at me. “Are you going to see him, too? Are we going to be a family?”
I knew that one was coming. Oh boy. I try to choose my words carefully as I answer. “Sweetie, I don’t know, yet. That’s not something I can decide today. But I want to try and see where it goes. Speaking of which, Auntie Julia is planning to meet us at the soccer field, because she has a favor to ask you. You about ready to go?”
“A favor?” Rory asks suspiciously. She’s a girl after my own heart and she knows as well as I do that when Jules is involved, chaos usually follows.
Jules walks along the grass where Rory’s soccer team is lined up. “Everyone, remember what they have to do?”
“Sir, yes, sir,” Kelsey and Rory chant in unison. They each have one end of a huge paper banner.
Jules nods in approval and comes over to where I’m standing with Kelsey’s parents.
“We’re all set,” says Jules. She turns to survey the handful of photographers she invited, flashing them a thumbs-up before turning back to us.
“This is the cutest thing ever,” says Gloria Peters, who I’ve recently decided isn’t so bad once you get past her resting bitch face. “The fact the local news is broadcasting this reunion. It’s the most exciting thing around here since that Raccoon family was rescued from the RV last summer.”
Yeah, it’s all romantic until someone is left standing in the middle of a soccer field on local TV with no one to profess their love to.
“What if he doesn’t come?” I say, sending Jules a pained expression. “Have you heard from him or Ev?”
Jules shakes her head, but says, “He’ll be here. I know he will, and deep down, so do you.”
He better be, or I’m never showing my face in the industry again. Maybe we’ll move to another state. Start fresh. We did it once before and it wasn’t so bad. The plan is for Nathan to show up and the girls to cheer, then Rory and Kelsey go and grab the banner and spread it out in front of the goalpost. I’ll be waiting on standby to give a little speech… but if he doesn’t come, I’m going to be left with a banner and a bunch of disappointed seven-year-olds on live TV.
“It’s GO time,” says Jules. She points off into the distance, where Evan and Nathan have just pulled into the parking lot. A million angry bees buzz in my belly. I’m a behind-the-camera type of girl, being the center of attention makes me want to vomit.
A feeling that only intensifies as Jules’s brow furrows. “Izzy, is that..?”
CHAPTER 18
