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Watson: Why are you awake?
Holt: I’m blocking you.
Watson: Wait!
Holt: Why should I?
Watson: Because this is all I think about every single day. A day I can’t remember but wish to fuck I could. Trust me, H. You’re much better off without me.
I quickly attached the hammock picture and hit send. When Holt didn’t respond, I figured this time, I wouldn’t hear from him. I let out a low sigh and then watched as the dots from his text told me he was fighting himself.
Holt: I wish you remembered, too, because then maybe I wouldn’t hate you. I wouldn’t feel like I was living an out-of-body experience. This is what you’ve done to me. I hope you’re happy with yourself, Watson.
Holt: *picture downloading*
My breath caught in my throat, and if my heart wasn’t already broken from how much I missed him, it would surely haven broken at the sight before me. He looked nothing like the Holt I knew. Sadness I had never seen before filled Holt’s hazel eyes. He looked as tired as I felt, and his lips—God, those lips that felt perfect against mine—were pinched together in a tight line. His dark hair was in a desperate need of a haircut as it curled around his ears and forehead.
I’d done that to him. Mason had told me I’d broken Holt, and he was absolutely on point. He looked miserable.
Holt: Nothing to say? No smartass comment or quick remark? Figures. Leave me alone. I need to keep your number in my phone for emergencies, so I can’t block you.
Watson: What kind of emergencies?
When he didn’t respond, panic began to spread through my body. He wouldn’t actually hurt himself. Would he? Should I call someone? Carson, maybe? The thought made my stomach turn.
Watson: Holt, what kind of an emergency are you talking about? Don’t fuck around like that. You know I still care about you. You’re still my best friend.
Watson: HOLT!
God damnit! He knew I wasn’t supposed to drive, so I couldn’t go over to Carson’s place. I was starting to really freak out. I glanced over at my dresser where my keys were. I could just take a quick jaunt over there. Make sure Holt was all right. No one would know. I jumped from my bed, pulled a shirt on over my head, and slipped my feet into my sneakers before I shoved my keys into one pocket and my phone in the other. I didn’t bother to give Holt a heads up because he was obviously ignoring me.
I quietly moved down the hall, past where my mom was sleeping, and jogged down the stairs. I could do this. Leave, make sure Holt was okay, and get back before Mom realized I was even gone. Nothing would happen. No one but Holt and Carson would know. I gritted my teeth at the thought of Carson’s name.
Once in my car, I checked my mirrors like it was the first time I had driven, plugged Carson’s address into my GPS on my phone, pressed the start button, and backed out of the driveway. This was good. I was fine. There weren’t too many people on the road this late, or maybe it was early, and I didn’t have more than ten minutes to go. I made sure to stop completely at every stop sign. Even the yellow lights. I wasn’t going to get pulled over.
Only...
