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Chapter Thirty-One
Holt
Watson wasn’t supposed to drive. He knew that. What was he thinking getting into his car? The GPS in his phone had Carson’s address in it. He was coming there. To what? See me? I shouldn’t have engaged with him when he texted me that night. I shouldn’t have sent that picture, but I needed him to know how hurt I was. What he had done to me. I just... I collapsed onto the chair next to his bed. He hadn’t hurt anything, other than forcing the doctors to induce a coma. If he hadn’t been wearing his seatbelt, if he had hit someone else, if he wasn’t a professional stock car driver. I shivered at all the things that could have happened to him. So many what ifs.
“Watson.” I grasped his hand in mine. “I need you to wake up for me,” I murmured. “The doctors... they said you had another seizure. I don’t... I don’t know what I’m going to do if you don’t wake up, baby.” I pressed my lips to the palm of his hand. “This is all my fault. I take all the blame.”
“That’s bullshit, and you know it,” Killian sassed from behind me. “He wasn’t supposed to be driving.”
I shook my head. “I should have ignored his texts. I let him think... I fucking did this to him.”
“Come with me.” Killian squeezed my shoulder. When I shook my head again, he pressed his fingers into my muscles. “That wasn’t a request, Holt. You need to get out of this room. You’ve been here for two days. Come with me.”
I hung my head as I reluctantly let go of Watson’s hand. “I won’t be gone long,” I promised, and followed Killian out of the room. Neither one of us spoke as we waited for the elevator, stepped inside, and went down to the cafeteria. Mom had gone home to shower, to get something to eat, and get some clothes together for Watson while I stayed. I wasn’t going anywhere. Not back to work, Carson’s, anywhere. Not until Watson opened his eyes and saw me. I didn’t care how mad at me he was or if he never remembered anything. I was determined to fight for my man for as long as it took.
“Hungry?” Killian asked. The smell of food made my stomach turn. “Too bad, you have to eat something. Get us a table. Don’t argue with me, just fucking do it,” he ordered.
I sat down as Killian walked up to grab some food, and I closed my eyes for maybe a second before he was dropping wrapped sandwiches on the table. I glanced up as he slid into the seat across from me.
“Thanks.” I started to remove the plastic wrap. “Where’s Matthias?” I asked.
“I sent him home to get some sleep, something you should be doing right now, too.” Killian pulled at the bread of his chicken salad. “Making yourself sick, staying here; it’s not going to make Watson get better any faster. You need to shower, rest, eat. Because when he’s ready to leave here? He’s going to need you to take care of him.”
“Watson made it pretty clear he doesn’t want me.”
“We both know that’s fucking a lie, Holt.”
I stared at Killian as his words vibrated through my head. “How do you know that? You heard him that day. He doesn’t trust me; he took the engagement ring back.” I pushed my sandwich away and placed a hand over my heart. “It hurts so much.”
“I know. I broke Matthias in ways I can never fix, but he forgave me.” Killian’s blue eyes looked sad. “If he can do that, Watson can do the same. You need to fight for him, Holt. Fight for him like your life depends on it.” He knocked on the table with his ink-covered fingers. “Okay, that’s enough of my sappy bullshit. Finish that or we’re not leaving.”
I rolled my eyes. “Okay, Daddy.”
“Yeah, don’t call me that. It’s fucking gross.”
“Bet you like it when Matthias calls you daddy.”
I watched as the tips of Killian’s ears turned pink. “We aren’t talking about my sex life, Holt. Unless you want to tell me about yours.” He leaned forward.
“I was a virgin before Watson.” I took a bite of my sandwich and watched his eyes grow wide. I shrugged. “What? You asked.”
He shook his head. “I really didn’t. We’re not talking about sex.”
“I miss it, though,” I murmured. “I just...” I watched the way Killian’s brows dipped in warning. “I miss the closeness with Watson, the way he would hold me. He wasn’t my first kiss or anything, but he was my first everything else.”
“Shit, you’re really tugging at my heartstrings.” He sighed. “You remind me of Matthias.” He popped another bite of his sandwich into his mouth. “He told you, right?”
I shrugged. “Not everything, but some stuff. You kissed him first. He had a crush on you. That sort of thing.”
“I am not talking about this with you, Holt, no matter how much I like you.” Killian’s entire face went red. “My love life is no one’s business. I’m a private person when it comes to that.” He pressed his lips together before he dragged a hand through his dark curls. “I will tell you one thing. If I hadn’t found Matthias in the treehouse? I’d be dead right now. I wouldn’t be sitting here with you, living in North Carolina, a changed man. He saved me as much as I saved him that night.”
I swear I saw tears in Killian’s blue eyes before he dropped his gaze from mine.
“I need to go back upstairs.” I stood up.
“I know you do. I’ll catch up. I have a call to make.” Yeah, he was going to call his fiancé., and I got that.
The elevator was empty on the way back to Watson’s room. I was exhausted, and I knew I was going to have to leave at some point to rest. The few power naps I had gotten here weren’t giving me much, and the terrible coffee they sold wasn’t doing me any good. When I stepped off the elevator and down the hall to Watson’s room, it was different from when I left. Nurses and doctors were rushing back and forth. I could hear yelling and screaming coming from inside. Yelling that sounded exactly like—
