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Mason’s jaw dropped. “Are you fucking shitting me? Because that’s not very funny.”
“I’m not trying to be funny. I’m telling you the truth. I broke it off with him for good. It’s really the best thing for him. Holt doesn’t need to take care of me, Mason. He needs a guy who’s going to take care of him. I love him, I think I really do, but I don’t want him to look back on his life ten years from now and regret falling for me.” I grabbed my phone to stare at the picture as anxiety began to niggle its way inside my head. “I wish I remembered this. Hell, I wish I remembered a lot of things, but this most of all because I looked happy.” I glanced up to find Mason glaring at me. “What?”
He shook his head. “You pushed him away because you want him to be happy, but all you’ve done is create this version of Holt who is horrible to be around. Did you tell him why you did it, or did you just break it off with him for good?”
“I just broke it off with him. Holt didn’t need a reason, because he’d—”
“You’re a fucking idiot.”
I gasped. “Excuse me?”
“You heard me, Watts, but I’ll say it again. You’re a fucking idiot. Holt will never get over you. Ever. He’s staying with Carson, so bravo for that, and I’m pretty sure he’s planning on giving his notice when the season is over.” Mason narrowed his eyes. “I saw that.”
I gritted my teeth. “You saw nothing.” Carson Carey. He was staying with Carson Carey? He was just waiting to get into Holt’s pants. What happened to staying with Killian and Matthias?
“You have this little vein.” Mason reached over to touch my face, and I smacked his hand away. “It’s Carson, huh? You’re jealous of him.”
I rolled my eyes. “Not jealous. Holt can stay with whoever he wants.” Except Carson. Anyone but Carson. My blood pressure spiked at the thought.
“They would make a cute couple.” Mason smirked.
“Stop it,” I warned.
Mason’s smirk grew wider. “Stop what? Just talking about your stepbrother and his future husband. Oh, Holt Carey? That has a nice ring to it, don’t you think?” He wiggled his brows.
“Mason,” I growled.
He chuckled. “Carson Walker? Does that sound better?”
I gritted my teeth. “We’re done with this conversation.” I grabbed my empty water bottle and towel. “Don’t.” I narrowed my eyes before I stepped off the treadmill.
“Need a ride home or were you going to get an Uber?” he asked. When I started to object, he held up a hand. “I promise not to mention Carson again.”
I nodded. “Thanks.”
***
For the first time since my accident happened, I couldn’t sleep. Maybe it was because of what Mason had told me about Holt or more likely the bomb that Mom had dropped that Dad had served her with divorce papers while she was at work today, but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t fall asleep.
I looked through the pictures of us for the millionth time.
I thought of the first kiss I could remember with Holt. On the front lawn of Shepard’s house.
When he sucked my dick in the shower.
Holt’s small, firm body wrapped around mine.
The way he told me loved me.
Yeah, no, this wasn’t going to work. I ripped the covers off and reached for my phone, hoping he hadn’t blocked me.
Watson: I can’t sleep.
I stared at the screen, willing him to message me. But after five minutes, he hadn’t responded, and I dropped back on the mattress. I was such an asshole. Mason was right about that. I flopped onto my stomach, thinking about the way Holt sounded when he came, and my dick instantly thickened in my sweats. Maybe if I just jerked off, I could sleep. I slid my hand into my pants as my phone buzzed. Holy shit.
Holt: How is that my problem? Don’t text me again.
Not the answer I had expected, but he didn’t block me.
