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“I have a few questions.”
My stomach drops to my feet. “Questions?”
“Yeah. Questions.”
“Okay.” I take a sip of water for something to do with my hands, and to stop myself from stammering an apology and making a quick exit.
He totally regrets the kiss. That’s gotta be the only reason that he’s taking his time to spit out whatever’s on his mind, right?
“First off, I talked to my brothers too. So I don’t want you to feel bad for telling Jem and the girls about the kiss. You don’t need my permission to have a discussion with other women — or men for that matter, you don’t need my permission for anything, is that clear?”
I nod.
“Secondly. You said you don’t have a lot of experience with this type of thing. Can you be more specific? Are we talking about just dating, kissing, sex? Give me a direction here.”
“Um.” My brain stalls at the word sex. I’m not a prude. I’ve had sex — obviously — but the word out of Harlan’s mouth should be criminal. It’s all banked desire and smoky heat.
Focus, Maisie.
“Dating. I haven’t dated much. I had a few boyfriends in high school, but then Dad died, and college was focused on my studies — and then Sean.”
“Okay.”
“Okay?” I parrot like a weirdo.
He shifts his plate to the side and snags my hand in his own, his thumb rubbing circles on the back of my hand.
“Sunshine.” My eyes whip to his. There’s naked desire there.
Harlan wants me. And that sends my heartbeat throbbing in my core.
“Yeah?” I say, melting at his nickname for me.
“I’d like to try too. And I don’t want to make you uncomfortable, so how about we set some ground rules?”
“What?” My eyes whip to his. The squishy melting feeling at the nickname he gave me shifts to confusion.
“Ground rules. For us.” He waggles the thumb of his free hand between us.
All of the air in the room is gone. It’s just not there, but I’m still conscious, so I must be breathing.
I nod. “Okay. Ground rules. Sure. That would be good.” My head is spinning.
“I’m assuming that you’re comfortable with kissing?” he asks.
“Yeah. Kissing is good.” Smooth, Maisie. Real smooth.
He smiles. “Okay then. Everything else is in your wheelhouse. You call the shots here.”
Oh fuck. He’s talking about physical intimacy ground rules. Not just dating ground rules.
Fuck.
A pit opens in the bottom of my chest.
Shit. I have to tell him.
It’s not fair if I don’t. But how the hell do I tell him something I’ve kept locked away like a dirty shameful secret?
