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I bite my lip just as he says, “I’m gonna go throw on a shirt. Be right back.”
I shift from side to side in the kitchen, both as an automatic motion to keep Audra from wiggling, but also to alleviate some of the achy pressure in my core.
Less than thirty seconds later, Harlan’s walking back into the kitchen, the glorious golden skin of his torso covered.
Drat.
“You wanted to talk?”
“Yeah. I’ve been thinking,” I say, turning to set Audra in the high chair before buckling her in.
And oh boy, that’s an understatement. I spent the better part of today distracted from my own work as I processed my emotions, thoughts, and options.
And I settled on a decision.
Assuming this conversation doesn’t embarrass me right out of Everette.
“Okay.” Harlan nods for me to continue.
“I talked to Jem?—”
“You talked to Jem?”
I wince knowing how it sounds. Like I’m a gossip. Like I can’t keep my mouth shut.
“Yeah,” I try to explain. “Just kinda like — girl talk. As you know, I don’t have the best experience with this type of thing. And I wanted another perspective. But Giselle and Andy were there too, and they made some really good points.”
“Okay.” He doesn’t look mad that I talked to his sister-in-law and a few of what I’m sure are his acquaintances. He looks more curious than anything, and that with his steady tone gives me the courage to go on.
“I went to Jem because I… I haven’t had a friend in a long time, and I wanted to talk to someone about the kiss. But they brought up that it wasn’t fair for me to start something up with you when I had one foot out the door. And they’re right.”
“Sunshine —” Harlan starts to interrupt, but I hold up my hand warding him off.
“Hang on, let me get this out. They weren’t wrong to have that question, if I’m staying or going, because I have that question. But I want to stay. I think that this would be a good landing spot for Audra and me, and …” I drag in a breath.
“I want to stay. I want a home. I’m tired of running, of being afraid of my own shadow. And I want more — with you. I can’t promise I’ll be any good at it — I don’t have a ton of experience with this — but I’d like to try, if you’re okay with that?” I trail off, my tone rife with uncertainty, and I can’t look at him.
“Maisie.” A shiver works its way down my spine at the way he says my name. A verbal caress that rolls off his tongue and lands heavily south of my belly button.
I’m so done with the shy and timid woman that emerged from the wreckage of her life to find herself on the run from her abusive ex and pregnant. The cautious woman who is scared of letting anyone in, anyone too close for fear of getting attached or hurt again. I’m done letting the scared part of me rule my life.
Boldly, I meet Harlan’s gaze. “Yeah?”
“You look like you’re going to pass out. Sit down.”
Okay. Maybe not as bold as I want to be.
My ass meets wood as I sit hard. The thump of the chair loud in the otherwise quiet room.
“I’m going to eat this — looks good by the way — and then we can talk about all of it, okay?” Harlan skirts the table, grabs a fork from his drawer, and heads into the pantry before emerging with the rice puffs that Audra likes. My heart clenches in my chest at the sight of the plastic container. It’s these little things. The consideration he pays, not only me but my daughter, that makes me a goner for him.
He shakes a couple onto her tray, and she pounces on them with a happy chirp — even though she just ate her own dinner less than an hour ago.
Harlan takes his own seat and forks up a bite of food. The guttural groan he lets out when his lips close around the tines of the fork threaten to send my mind right back into the gutter I just dragged it out of.
“This is so good.”
“Thank you,” I reply, my tone prim.
