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“What do you mean, what do I mean?”
Nebraska’s head tilted to the right and those wide eyes studied me.
“You have me in a corner. I’m all over the place. I can’t keep a straight thought. I’m furious. My loyalty to the people I trusted could be called into question. I’m confused and would likely slip up. Yet you’re going to let the opportunity to get the answers you want go?”
That about summed it up.
“Yep.”
“Why? You have me where you want me. I’m a freaking mess.”
I didn’t have her where I wanted her. Though a few minutes ago, when she cuddled into me I certainly had her where I wanted her. No, correction—I had her where I almost wanted her. If I truly had what I wanted she wouldn’t have been wearing yesterday’s clothes—or any clothes at all while she was curled into me.
“I know you think I’m a dick, but seriously, Nebraska, do you really think I’d play you?”
She seemed to think about her answer before she spoke.
“I don’t know… yes? Why wouldn’t you?”
Jesus.
“Straight up, it feels like I just had battery acid poured down my throat the way my gut is churning hearing you say that. Not because I’ve given you reason to trust me but because you’ve been taught not to trust, and that happened way before you found out the people you loved fucked you over. I’ll give you this; if this was an interrogation and I had my target where you are, I’d play them and do it until I wrung every last piece of intel out of them, uncaring I was twisting the knife. But this is not an interrogation. You are not a target. But even if this was and you were I still wouldn’t be able to cause you that kind of harm.”
It was comical, the look of complete and total confusion on her beautiful face. Comical in the sense it was completely and totally fucked up.
Had no one ever shown her any concern?
Unfortunately she answered my unasked question.
“Charlie sent me to meet with Zane.”
Not the worst thing that man had done to her, but not very thoughtful considering Charlie knew Zane would chew her up and spit her out as soon as he got a look at her files.
Then there was the part about Zane having a past with her mother—something Charlie likely knew about. Which meant he’d sent Nebraska down the path of secrets being exposed without preparing her first, and that was fucked up.
“When I texted him after the meeting went bad and told him I was coming to Egypt his response was ‘be safe.’ Nothing else. Just that.”
Another asshole maneuver.
“Since as far back as I can remember, I was taught how to be the mediator. When I was a teenager, the lessons were masked as advice on how to deal with bullies and high school mean girls. But the older I got, the more overt they became. He was molding me into who he wanted. I thought that was me joining the CIA like him. But he quickly disabused that notion. He had bigger plans for me. So you see, I’m nothing more than a pawn in a game that’s centuries old. Crime. War. Greed. The game always remains the same, the players just change. With all of that, knowing I’m just a piece to move around the board when I need to be used, why would I think now was any different? That you were any different? Everyone uses me—”
“Please stop.”
“Easton—”
“You’re breaking my fuckin’ heart,” I groaned.
Her eyes did something strange. First, they went soft and unfocused, then after she blinked they remained soft but gained clarity. It was like she was seeing me for the first time, the way her stare turned sharp and acute. This wasn’t the first or only time I’d noted she was observant, always watching and assessing. But this time it was different. Alert in a way that wasn’t so much assessing as it was reflective.
Sadly, if not tragically, the softness vanished when three loud bangs came at the door accompanied by Smith shouting, “We got jam, company’s inbound.”
Fuck a motherfucking duck.
“Nebraska—”
“Later,” she returned and sprang into action.
Obviously the woman was no stranger to bolting on a moment’s notice. She had her shoes in hand and was shoving her feet into one of them before I took my first step toward the door. When I got it open I stopped only to warn, “Our conversation’s not over.”
