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“Shhh. I know you’re scared, and I know you’re afraid to be vulnerable, but I got you, Sunnie Mae. I’m here with you. We promised to help each other. We said we were going to do the work to be better together.” Keeping an arm around my waist, he leaned me back to clean my face. “Don’t make this into something it’s not, Sunnie Mae. She’s here because I asked her to be… as my friend and your sister. Talk to her. You wanted this moment so be a big girl and handle your business.” Coaxing me into a state of ease, he kissed my lips and lingered there. Didn’t release me until he felt the tension and anxiety had simmered. “I would never do anything to harm you or hurt you, Sunnie. I really think this is some divine timing. How ironic is it that I invited her over here a day ago and today you reveal how you need help dealing with your relationship with her? God doesn’t make mistakes, Sunnie. She’s here for a reason bigger than me. She’s here for you, too.” One last hug and a kiss on my forehead. He went to open the door.
Whatever he saw by looking through the small peephole was enough for him to open the door with a gentle smile and not his usual pinched brow glare. My breathing slowed until I stopped breathing. Seeing him smile softly and reach a hand out to pull a dainty arm into himself and wrap her arms around him.
He hugged her as if he missed her.
He whispered in her ear as if they shared an unknown intimacy that only they knew the harmony of.
He helped her remove her coat and hang up her purse as if the comfortable space of his home was now her haven.
He kissed her forehead and hugged her again as if they were long-lost lovers finally reuniting.
My heart thumped loudly in my ear with each step they made towards me. Both were unaware that my outer shell of concrete confidence and strength had crumbled with each echo of her thick heeled boots. Never had their eyes left the other. Never had their hands untied. Never had their smiles faltered.
Finally, with nowhere to go, they reached the high top table, and even still, eighteen seconds passed before they remembered I existed.
Those golden Tourmaline brown eyes were captivating and sucked you in. “Hey, Sunnie.”
Hearing my name come off her envious, perfectly arched bowtie lips, anxiety coursed through my veins. “Hey Aleyah…”
I remember the day her dad died.
My mom called me hysterically crying. Had me thinking someone in our family died. Barely able to say a word without hiccuping in her grief. After mom calmed down, we spoke briefly, and she shared how her first love, her middle school crush, and first husband, had passed away from cancer after destroying his body with drugs and alcohol over the years. It irritated my soul knowing she was so devastated over another man who wasn’t my father. She’s been remarried for over twenty years. That man shouldn’t have had her so distraught as a married woman.
Had she not asked me to call and check on Aleyah, I probably wouldn’t have done it. What was the point?
I called twice during my sister’s grieving period. Once to check on her and see if she needed anything, knowing damn well my promises were nothing but airless words. A second time to tell her that I wasn’t going to make it to the funeral.
My entire family showed up but me.
That was one of the first instances that I let her down.
Later on in life, some odd years later, she learned that I hadn’t been able to make it because I was at All-Star Weekend in New Orleans being wined and dined by a basketball player I was dating. Being on his arm, being the center of attention, and being the talk of all the blogs from the diamonds he dripped me in, and my face on the flyers for hosting the best parties was more important than sitting next to my sister in a pew at her father’s memorial service.
The second time was at her first book signing.
It was no surprise to me or anyone who knew Aleyah that she’d put her craft of wordsmithing romance into a book. I was proud of her. I really was. Even more proud when she got invited to be a featured author at a book event in Charlotte, North Carolina. When she shared the news and asked if I wanted to be her plus one, I accepted immediately. My big sister was moving up in the world. She was living her dreams. Those long nights of writing in her notebooks and sharing her stories on YouTube had paid off.
I backed out three weeks before the event.
Out of the fifty-two weeks in the year, I convinced Hillary that we needed to move the same weekend into a bigger space, although our apartment at the time was fine. I could’ve changed my move date. I could’ve planned better, but I didn’t. One of our cousins took my place, and all was forgotten… or so it seemed.
My priorities have always been a little one-sided.
Never showed up for her the way she wanted me to but expected her to be there for me quick fast and in a hurry.
“Thank you again for helping us out with the obituary. It means a lot to me.” Zeek finally pulled his eyes away from her and remembered that I was in the room. “While I look it over and process it all, why don’t y’all talk and catch up?” His eyes widened, and he motioned for me to open my mouth. He was horrible at this, like I was.
Aware of Zeek’s failed attempt to be subtle, Aleyah exhaled deeply. “I didn’t come over here for this, Ezekiel.” His shoulders and mine dropped at the same time. “Do whatever you need to do and text me with any changes. I have the original. You can keep that copy.” Not even giving me a second glance, she turned on the balls of her heels and marched towards the door.
“Sunnie, stop sitting there and open your mouth.” He gritted lowly before chasing after her. She almost made it to the front door before his socks sliding against the wood floor and placed his bulky frame between her and the door. “I apologize for ambushing you like this, Aleyah. I really am, but y’all need to talk. You may not have anything to say, but I know Sunnie does. Hear her out and then you can leave. Please?”
The petty part of me wanted to cuss his ass out for begging her to stay. All of this wasn’t necessary. Then the other part of me sat on the edge of my seat questioning the last two weeks that warranted her cold demeanor toward me.
When Aleyah sat down next to me, I expected her to wear a face of annoyance, or dare I say envy. I got nothing. Just a beautiful canvas of a concrete shell void of emotion yet radiating a confidence that made my ego bow down.
“I’ll be out on the balcony if y’all need me. Lee, don’t leave my house without saying goodbye.” Zeek winked, making the butterflies in my stomach stretch.
My sister and I sat there. Lips not moving, but a whirlwind of unspoken words circling us. There was so much I wanted to say, so much I wanted to apologize for. But how does one start? Am I supposed to jump right into it… “Hey, sis. I know the way I’ve treated you over the years was mean and harsh, but let me tell you why.” Nah, there had to be a better way.
