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There was that phrase again.
‘I knew I couldn’t stay in Australia. It’s not just The Devils who’d want me dead. The people I killed, they had ties, and without the protection of The Devils, I’d be a walking target.’
Sarah shook her head, unable to reconcile the man she loved with the picture Alex painted of the world he lived in. The world he tried to escape from.
When he knew he wanted out, he started making arrangements. He had money. Death was a lucrative business. He’d never had much need of anything so it had sat, stashed in various locations. Alex started moving the money out of the country as soon as he knew he was done. The thing about organized crime - the tentacles stretch around the world. And money can buy you just about anything, including false passports and silence. It had taken a year to set up. A year in which he hadn't had to kill anyone else.
‘What happened that Zep didn’t want anyone else killed?’
‘Too much heat from the cops. Dirty or not, they don’t like it when you kill one of their own.’
She balked. ‘You killed a cop that night?’
‘Not that night, a few weeks before.’
Her mind spun in a new direction. Taking out bad guys was one thing, but police officers?
‘If you knew you wanted out and you wanted to keep me safe, why did you come here?’ she finally whispered.
The hard set of his jaw turned to torment. ‘I had to see you. I didn't mean for you to see me, I just wanted to know you were okay before… before I disappeared.’
What the hell. He never intended to stay?
‘You were going to find me and then just disappear – not even see me?’
Alex rubbed the back of his neck, a strained look on his face. ‘I thought I had to, to be sure I wasn’t followed and I didn’t put you in danger.’ He crossed his arms across his chest, then uncrossed them. ‘I am so sorry I did.’
‘Is that why those men came to the flat? They were there to kill you? To kill me?’
‘Yes.’
Sarah felt his fear. They would kill her because he loved her. A message needed to be sent to all the other members, as well as their enemies. No patch-outs. You leave, you die. And so do the people you care about. What a messed-up way to exist. She rubbed her arms, trying to remove the vicarious dread.
‘How did you get mixed up with The Devils in the first place?’
He smiled, but his eyes were pools of sadness. ‘My father was the enforcer for The Devils. My mum was his old lady. I grew up in the club.’ He shrugged. ‘Until my father killed my mother in a drunken rage and was sent to prison. I was sent to foster care.’
‘Alex!’ She leant forward, taking his face in her hands. She’d known his parents were dead, but she had no idea of the circumstances. She wanted to reach back in time and save the little boy trapped in a world of violence and cruelty.
‘Connor, my father’s best friend found me and brought me back to the club on weekends. When I turned eighteen, I had nowhere else to go.’
Sarah tried to swallow the lump that had formed in her throat. She pressed her lips to his. It made so much more sense now. Not the killing - that was something that she doubted she’d ever be able to accept. But the secrets Alex had kept. The way he’d tried to shield her from The Devils when they’d been together. It made sense.
She sat back on the bunk. ‘So, what happens now? How do we get on with our lives?’
Alex lowered his head into his hands again. She got the sense he couldn’t look her in the eye. She waited.
Finally, Alex straightened up. He looked at her, a sad smile played across his lips.
‘You couldn’t just go on with your life, Sarah. We have to disappear. For all intents and purposes, the people we once were must die.’
Die? Sarah could understand why they needed to disappear for a while.
‘I’m sorry. I know you built the life you always wanted in London.’
‘What do you mean?’ She tilted her head, trying to understand.
‘You can’t ever go back.’
