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Nasir thought his petrified heart might have cracked open at that vulnerable admission. And he wondered if stones could be turned back into men and even if they could, if they could relearn the most human thing to do again—to love.
Or if it was all too late for him. But he knew one thing about men; that they were selfish. He was one, too, and he knew he wouldn’t give her up when she fit into his life so perfectly. Not ever.
CHAPTER TWELVE
THENEXTSIXweeks were as close to paradise as even Yana’s wildest dreams could have conjured them to be. It had felt unbelievable when she’d looked at her calendar that morning and realized there were only three weeks of her stay left, as per the contract she’d signed with Nasir. Of course, the contract had no meaning left between them except as a joke Nasir used when she’d ask something of him and he’d say she’d robbed him blind already.
Time seemed to rush at an indescribable speed the more she tried to double down on it. Or was it her grasp of time as a construct that was slipping because she’d never been happier, or for the first time in her life, that she was truly thriving and flourishing on all fronts?
She’d had to finish up the last of her modeling contracts already in place, so she’d done those. She and Nush had squealed with joy at learning recently that Mira was pregnant with twins—twins—and the sisters had managed a weekend for a much-needed girls get-together arranged by Mira’s clearly besotted husband Aristos.Andto top it all off, she was making good progress on the second book she was working on in her series.
It was still hard for her to trust Nasir with reading her work. Or maybe it was her insecurities? But she managed to reveal theoretical scenarios to him because his mind was a maze and he was the best at brainstorming. While it rankled him a little that she refused to share more, he always indulged her outlandish inquiries and they ended up discussing craft and the industry and research so often that Yana began to fall for him all over again.
Between quick one-day or overnight jaunts to different locations for a magazine ad shoot, a perfume ad and the opening of a new night club in Amsterdam, she’d spent the past few weeks soaking in the sun, swimming in the pool and wandering the woods with Zara in tow.
Nasir, to her shock, had shown up at the same hotels as she had for almost all of her work trips. To her unending delight, he was one of those people who’d been to every damn city in the world and always knew the best places to eat, knew the real history that books seemed to forget and then there were those glorious nights of passion and tenderness and more to explore between them. The best part was that she felt as if the trips were slowly bringing out the true explorer of life Nasir was at heart.
After that first night, they didn’t try to label what was between them again or set an expiration date on it, and that was perfectly fine with Yana.
Clearly, he still wanted her with the same fervor and madness she felt. In this, finally, they were equals. They were lovers and confidants and shared all the ups and downs of loving and caring for a little girl.
She was living the life she’d once dreamed of and during those glorious moments where they were playing with Zara, or reading quietly together in the evening, or talking about her book, it felt like it was more than enough. At least that was what she told herself, trying her best to not give too much thought to the future.
Not confiding in her sisters when she wanted to share the real relationship she was finally having with Nasir, hurt her heart. But they would only ask about where it was all leading, out of pure concern for her, and then Caio and Aristos would be dragged into it, and she didn’t want to force the issue when it was, in the end, all a precarious house of cards.
For now theiraffair—for want of a better word—still possessed that dreamy, magical, out-of-this-world quality to it and she was loath to disrupt it with talk of reality and future and stupid, silly organs getting far too involved when they should know better.
It was the same when they were at the castle, too—as if the whole scenario and the actors had truly emerged out of a dark fairy tale into a happy romance. She didn’t know if the instructions not to mention it had come from Nasir.
She was only thankful that the staff and Ahmed and even Amina acted as if they didn’t notice anything. Nasir’s mother had been excessively, exactingly kind to her, and Yana had cautiously returned the courtesy because Amina seemed to finally realize how much Yana had loved her husband. How real her mourning of Izaz was.
But sometimes, Yana saw a calculating quality in the older woman’s eyes and it unnerved her. She kept pointing out with a tone to her voice that Yana couldn’t pin down, that Zara was flourishing, thriving, blooming, under the attention of the two adults she loved the most.
Especially since she must know that her son ended up back in his bedroom—which Yana still also occupied, every night without fail. Though Nasir left before dawn at the latest—immediately after sex sometimes—to return to the bedroom he’d used since she’d arrived.
Yana had initially found both injury and insult in his leaving right after sex until he’d explained to her, with that charmingly wicked smile of his, that inspiration for his next novel had been coming to him in waves around midnight, right after he’d made love to her. That if he didn’t want to be ditched by his frustrated editor or his agent, he had to capitalize on it. And that he’d been making the trip back to her bedroom after his writing session, only to leave at dawn again because they didn’t want to be caught together by his curious five-year-old.
Acting the seductress—a bad habit that Nasir demanded she’d betternotgive up because it made her say and do outrageous things just to provoke him, she’d prettily suggested to him that he’d better dedicate the book to her for her part in getting it done.
His reply had been, “I wouldn’t want to shock my loyal readers with all that went into finishing the book,habibi. Those particular details are only for me to savor. Especially the time you decided you wanted to be on your knees.”
She’d blushed so hard that her cheeks had burned. But she’d also been secretly glad—not because she believed sex with her had some magical writer’s unblocking properties, but because, for the first time in years since she’d known him, Nasir genuinely looked relaxed. Content. Happy, even.
And she wanted to think at least some of that—a tiny, little part—was to do with her.
The summer sun had already started to set, immediately bringing a cool chill that particular evening as Yana hurriedly packed up their picnic supplies. Especially since they’d ventured farther than the boundary of the woods they usually stuck to. It was her own fault for giving in to Zara’s continued request for more playtime. Between keeping up with her and her own flagging energy, Yana hadn’t checked the time.
Yana pushed to her knees and lugged the heavy tote bag—Zara had to bring all the rocks she’d collected today, onto her shoulder just as the little girl, in her hurry, slipped over something and fell facedown into the knee-high grass.
Dropping the bag where she stood, she rushed to Zara. The five-year-old’s cry—a sudden, spiraling wail—told Yana it was more shock and fear than real pain. Fighting the worry in her head, she squatted on the floor and gently pulled Zara into her lap.
The little girl attached her arms to Yana’s neck with a hiccupping cry, without letting her check her face. Sighing, and loosening her arms so that she didn’t communicate her own fear to her, Yana rocked from side to side even as she whispered that Zara was okay. When Zara finally let her look at the small cut on her cheek, Yana set about dealing with it.
She wasn’t sure how long it took, when suddenly Yana noted that complete darkness had fallen. With the forested area at her back, and the castle at least a mile in the opposite way, it would be easy to get lost without light.
Pushing onto her feet, she talked Zara into wrapping her arms around her neck and her legs around her back like a little baby monkey they’d seen on a nature show not a few days ago, clinging to its mother.
Wiping her tears on Yana’s T-shirt, Zara instantly cheered up.
