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“You look tired, Beautiful. Are you sure you’re okay?” he asks, leaning closer as he continues to stroke the side of my face. What’s really fucking worrying is that on top of not being able to see what he’s doing out of my right eye, I also can’t feel his touch properly either. It’s like I know he’s doing it, and I can feel the ghost of his touch but not the usual warmth that I get from his skin against mine.
With a sigh, I give him a small smile. “Yeah, I promise, I will be fine.”
Giving his hand a reassuring squeeze, he leans further, closing the gap between us. The feel of his lips against mine is a much needed and welcome distraction. It starts off just a simple kiss—a sweet goodbye—but as soon as we taste each other, he begins to grab at me pulling me closer, and I barely manage to grab hold of him before my leg becomes wobbly.
I try to hide it by kissing him, and it works for a few seconds before he pulls back, and that knowing smile is there all over again. His voice is deep and full of concern as he talks. “Are you sure you’re okay? I’m worried about you. I can stay, or I can take you to your mum’s if that will help. Hell… I’ll even take you to the emergency room, if you think it’s that bad. Just, please, let me help.”
Don’t get me wrong, I’ve always known that Lee cares about me in his own way. But as he stands in front of me right now, that serious look in his dazzling blue eyes, I can tell he really does care for me, and that warms my heart so much more than it should.
“Honestly, I just need some sleep. I will be fine. Go home and enjoy the rest of the day. I will see you in a couple of days and we can spend the weekend together. We can do whatever you want,” I reply, and Lee’s smile turns higher in one corner, that sexy smirk I love spreading across his face.
“Well… if we can doanythingI want, I’m sure I will be able to think of something good.” The way he says anything, it makes such an ordinary word seem so completely sexual, and I can’t help but smile.
Lee leans over and seals his lips against mine once more. This time it’s me who deepens the kiss, slipping my tongue in to taste him. I have to pull away far too quickly, because I know I can’t stand at the door for much longer. My numb leg already feels like it’s starting to quiver, like it might give way at any moment, causing me to collapse to the floor, and I really don’t need that happening.
We kiss goodbye, and as is the same every time he leaves, my heart feels empty. In fact, it’s not just my heart, it’s everywhere. I’ve lived by myself for the last couple of years, and I never wanted a roommate.
But, as I watch Lee walk away, I feel like he’s taking a piece of me with him. It’s like he was always meant to move in here and be with me, and when he’s not here, the place just feels empty. I feel empty without him. Yet, this time as I watch him leave, I know it’s for the best.
He’s made his feelings perfectly clear—he doesn’t want any kind of serious relationship. And if this medical issue is as bad as I suspect it is, my life is about to get a whole lot more complicated, and I don’t want to have to deal with him as well as everything else.
As much as it breaks my heart, I know I can’t have him in my life if this is something serious. I need people who want to be here, who want to care for me, to love me. Not people who feel like they’re doing it out of a dumb sense of loyalty.
So, as I get myself dressed and call for a taxi, I repeat over and over in my pain filled brain, telling myself I have to let him go. I need to be strong enough to fight whatever this is, and I can’t do that if I’m worried about my fucked up love life. I think maybe I knew it would end this way. Maybe that’s why I stole one final kiss from him, because I knew this would have to be our goodbyes. Maybe if I’m wrong and this isn’t anything major I can forget these thoughts ever occurred and I can move on with Lee. But if I’m right and this is something serious, he can’t be a part of my life, and this was our goodbye.
CHAPTERTWENTY
LEE
Iknew as soon as I walked out of Emmaleigh’s flat that something was wrong. I can’t even explain it, but she just wasn’t herself at all. When she thought I wasn’t watching, I’d catch the look on her face, once the mask she was wearing for me dropped, and it became blatantly obvious, something was going on with her and she didn’t want me to know what it was.
I tried on numerous occasions to get her to talk to me, but when she didn’t, I tried to leave her alone, and I just watched. I noticed how there were times when she was walking with a limp, almost like her right leg was dragging behind her slightly. Then I’d catch her putting her hand to her head, like she had a real bad migraine, and was just too polite to tell me to shut the fuck up.
Honestly, I hated leaving her, but I trust in the fact she’s a nurse and can look after herself. She knows where I am if she needs me, but that doesn’t stop me from worrying about her. In fact, that gnawing feeling in the pit of my stomach, telling me that something isn’t right, it’s consuming me.
I try to pass the time when I’m home by hanging out with my mum. I don’t see her much as we both work different hours, so to get home early on her day off, it’s nice to be able to just sit with her and see how she is.
Even though we live in the same house, it is possible to go a long time without properly seeing each other. I get up for breakfast in the morning just as she’s going to work. Despite me being twenty-three years old, she still makes me porridge for breakfast and packs me some lunch to take to work. I’ve repeatedly told her I’m old enough to sort myself out, but she’s one of those mum’s who will always find something to mother over, and for my mum, this is it—well, and she does my washing, ironing, and cleaning. So, I guess you could say I have a very easy life.
When I come home from work, Mum and Dad have usually already eaten, and have left mine to be reheated. They settle to watch something on the TV, while I go on my computer. I’m not much of a gamer, but I like some. My real passion is making useful YouTube videos that can help people. The fact I work in IT probably gives it away how much of a tech geek I am, and the YouTube channel I have is designed to help people with all their tech needs.
Although I see both Mum and Dad for a short period of time on an evening, with me spending more time at Emmaleigh’s whenever I can, particularly at weekends, my time with them has dwindled a lot. So, I’m not even remotely surprised that Mum is shocked I’m there early enough to spend time with her. I didn't tell her I called in sick to stay home with a girl. I might be an adult, but Mum will still get mad at me for that. Can you imagine if I told her I did it because I wanted to spend all day having make-up sex with Em, only for her to have to cancel due to being unwell? My mum would be so pissed, and I would get a massive lecture on how no girl is worth my job.
As I sit here thinking about yesterday, I remember the conversations we had about the sex we were going to try. Em genuinely seemed interested in experimenting, even going as far as to promise trying anal. My dick gets hard at just the thought of that.
I’ve known Em for a while, and even though I haven’t seen her in the last couple of weeks, I still think I can read her. I don’t think this is her way of getting back to me because of the last two weeks. She’s not the type of girl to get me all hot and bothered and then walk away because she wants me to suffer. That’s not Em at all. She only ever says and does what she means. So when she promised me a day of kinky sex, that’s exactly what she intended to do. The fact she wasn’t able to fulfil that promise has me even more nervous.
My mum places her hand over mine, where it’s resting on the table in front of us, bringing my attention back to the here and now. “So, are you going to tell me anything about this girl?”
My eyes flick to Mum’s, and the piercing blue eyes I see staring back at me are exact replicas of my own. “What girl?” I ask, trying to play things as casually as I can.
Mum rolls her eyes and I bite my lip to hold back a chuckle. “I wasn’t born yesterday, Lee. I’m the one who cooks, cleans, and tidies up after you, which means I notice when your bed hasn’t been slept in. I know you’ve been spending weekends away from here,” she explains, her voice sounding firm, like she will be pissed that I’m trying not to answer her.
“It’s not serious, Mum. That’s why I’ve not mentioned it to you,” I mumble, looking down at the table, suddenly feeling like a teenager who has been caught doing something he shouldn’t.
Mum’s short, sharp, sarcastic laugh jolts me back into the moment, and I raise my gaze to hers. “Lee, we both know that’s rubbish. For the last couple of months, it’s the happiest you’ve ever been. I never said anything because I didn’t want to jinx it. I know how much you have problems trusting people, but somehow this girl was able to crawl under your skin, and I was pleased because she brought you to life.” She squeezes my hand, giving me a sad smile.
“I saw how lost and upset you’ve been over the last couple of weeks. Combine that with the amount of time you’ve been home, and it wasn’t hard to guess you had a falling out. I wanted to say something, to support you. But you’ve always been independent, wanting to make up your own mind. So when I saw you this morning, that bright, happy smile on your face, I knew you’d sorted things out. I know I probably shouldn’t say all this, and I don’t want to interfere in your relationship, but I would like to meet her. I’d like to thank her for making my son so happy.”
