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At first the sensation feels amazing, having him dominate and control me, taking his pleasure whilst giving it to me at the same time, it feels incredible. I can just about drag in a little oxygen with each breath, but it’s not quite enough and I start panting. That’s when Lee presses down hard, cutting off my air supply completely.
As soon as I try to take a breath and realise I can’t, I start to panic. I can feel my lungs starting to burn, as I try and fail to drag in some air. That's when I feel Lee’s breath against my ear. “Trust me, Beautiful. Don’t panic, just let yourself feel.” His voice is deep and throaty, like it’s full of sex. I don’t even hesitate, I do as I’m told. If he tells me to trust him, then that’s absolutely what I will do. We’ve experimented so much over the last couple of months, I know he won’t hurt me. He knows what I enjoy, and so I’m willing to put a little faith in him knowing I will like this.
I stop trying to breathe and just let my body relax, allowing myself to simply feel everything like Lee told me to do. He must be able to feel me submit, as he whispers in my ear, “Good girl.”
The magic words help me even more, and I just let myself enjoy the sensations. The feel of his cock hitting deep inside, the burn in my lungs, and the feel of his body enveloping mine. Each thrust is more intense, and I feel it so much more. As I start climbing closer to my release, the burn in my lungs worsen, and spots begin to appear in the corners of my vision—those damn fucking spots. Only this time I know it’s because my body is desperate for oxygen.
I bring my arm up and grab hold of Lee’s wrist, but I don’t pull it away. I want to let him know I’m reaching my limit, but I’m not quite there yet. I trust him to know when I’ve had enough. Still, it can’t hurt to give him a little hint.
I feel him start to move the hand that was on my hip down to the front, across my lower abdomen, before he gently slides his fingers in between my soaking wet folds. It doesn’t take long for him to reach my swollen clit, and even just the slightest touch from him is too much.
I try to scream and moan, but thanks to Lee’s grip on my throat, I can’t. All it does is waste precious resources and the burning worsens, which in turn creates more spots. That’s when Lee doubles his efforts, thrusting harder and deeper, while his fingers rub over my clit.
It’s not long before I’m losing control, my pussy walls beginning to tighten as I near that cliff. I’m so close to the edge… I just need more. “Come for me, Beautiful,” Lee growls as he bites down on my neck just as he releases my throat.
A rush of air fills my lungs at just the right time and fuck me does it feel incredible. My whole body feels on fire, but so much more alert. It’s like I can feel everything, every nerve ending is prickling with excitement as I lose myself. The orgasm rips through me, and I scream loudly, my body vibrating with need. “Fuck!”
My body trembles as my pussy walls clamp down on Lee’s cock, preventing him from moving, but he continues to rub my clit through my orgasm. This causes more waves of pleasure to ripple through my soaking pussy. All those sensations are too much for Lee, who holds onto me tight as he falls apart. With a loud roar against my ear, his cock explodes deep inside me.
As soon as it becomes too much, and my body sags into a heap that’s only being held up by his arm around my waist, Lee takes his fingers from my pussy and helps me lay on the bed. As his cock slips out, I feel so wet and empty. I always hate this feeling. It’s like I’m missing a part of me.
I watch as he licks his fingers clean of my juices before walking into the bathroom, collecting a washcloth that he brings through to help clean us both up. I can’t believe it wasn’t too long ago I found this whole process embarrassing. Now, I’m just laying here with my legs open, my cum-filled pussy on display while I let him take care of me.
Once we’re both sorted, he runs through into the kitchen and brings us both some water, which I gladly accept. It’s been a long fucking day, and everywhere hurts. I reach into the bedside cabinet and grab some pain killers. Lee looks at me concerned. “Don’t worry, it’s not from the sex,” I tell him. “Today was just a really long day and I ache. Who knew going on strike and helping the entire NHS healthcare system collapse for the day would be such a headache.”
Lee chuckles as he climbs into the bed beside me. We both sit with our backs against the headboard, and he pulls the duvet up over us both before holding his arms out wide. “Come here. We can rest for a while. I’ve already told work I’m not coming in tomorrow, so I’m all yours for a bit. We can get to the sexy time again soon, but for now we rest.”
Mmm, that’s like music to my ears. I curl up into his arms, my head resting against his warm, hard chest. I don’t know what it is about Lee, but he always runs hot. Seriously, the guy never gets cold. There will be evenings where I’m sitting there in jumpers and blankets, and he’s shirtless. On the plus side, I always have something nice to look at, and when I cuddle up to him, he’s always warming. He’s like my own personal radiator.
I try not to think about how much my body is hurting right now. I mean, the pins and needles in my right leg are getting so bad, a couple of my toes keep going numb. I know I’ve been on my feet a lot today, but it’s no worse than normal. And don’t even get me started on the headache behind my right eye, and those fucking spots on my vision.
Even now when all I’m doing is lying quietly with my head on Lee’s chest, it’s like I can feel my heart pulsating in my head. The pressure behind my eye makes even just moving it sore. Closing it and getting some sleep sounds like the best idea all around. I just hope this has all gone away by the time I wake up because Lee has been tempting me with some very kinky sex acts, and I think I might be ready to try some of them now. But first I need a little sleep, and I need my body to start behaving a bit better.
CHAPTERNINETEEN
EMMALEIGH
They say nobody knows your body better than you. I know some medical professionals—and yes, I’m thinking about doctors—will argue otherwise. But I’ve been a nurse for several years, and the one thing I’ve always learnt is to trust the patient's instinct. Obviously that’s not going to apply to everyone, as I’ve met more than my fair share of hypochondriacs. But those that are really ill, usually they know.
As healthcare professionals, we get taught the average. So we know what the average range for a good blood pressure is. We know that the optimal resting pulse should be on an average person. We know roughly what weight people should be, based on their height. But these are all completely generic, made up of statistics and maths, rather than taking real people into consideration.
According to the BMI scale, I’m obese, and I can either lose a couple of stones to reach a healthy weight—which is a number I don’t think I’ve ever seen on the scales since I became an adult—or I can grow an extra foot taller. Take the ideal heart rate for example, I’ve looked after ninety year old men with perfect pulses of fifty beats per minute, which is on average the same as someone who runs a couple of times a week. Obviously, the old man isn’t running marathons, but he did have a quadruple bypass a couple of years ago, so it’s like he has a brand new heart.
We learn the average, but the patient knows whattheiraverage is. People who have epilepsy often know when they’re about to have a seizure because they see auras, or they feel a certain way, and I genuinely believe this is something we, as healthcare professionals, should listen to more.
So, when I woke up this morning, I just knew there was something really wrong, and it terrifies me. I’ve known for a while that my body hasn’t felt right, and was behaving oddly. I have been trusting of the doctors when they’ve said it’s migraines, or anxiety, but I know that’s not what this is.
Lee is softly snoring beside me in bed, and I roll over to take a look at him. I love watching him sleep—not in a creepy way—but he has this peaceful serenity that crosses his face, and it’s actually kinda beautiful. In fact, rolling over and looking at him before he wakes up has become one of my favourite things to do.
I think it’s because, for that moment, anything could be real. I can convince myself that this is ten years in the future and we’re still sleeping beside each other. Only now, I’m wearing a ring on my finger, and he tells me he loves me as soon as he wakes up.
I know dreaming like that is dangerous territory, but it’s one of those moments, those little glimpses into what I really crave in life, and that’s not something I can control.
But this morning, as soon as I rolled over, I knew something was different. My vision was wrong. Blinking open a couple of times, I reach over to the bedside table to grab my glasses, wondering if that will make a difference. It doesn’t. In fact, as I try to concentrate, I realise I can’t see anything out of my right eye. Gone are those fucking annoying spots, which I should be pleased about, but instead there’s just nothing.
I try to get my remaining eye to focus, and thankfully, I can still see a little out of that eye, but it’s not right either. I have to blink a few times to get it to focus, to stop things from blurring or appearing in double vision. My heart starts to race, and I can feel myself starting to panic. I try to tell myself it’s nothing serious, that it’s just because I’ve been overdoing it a lot lately, but I know I’m just lying to myself.
The pressure behind my right eye is immense, and whenever I move my eye, it feels like it’s grating against glass. It’s painful just to move it, and that’s not normal. I know I could take a handful of pills and none of them would take away the pain I’m feeling in my head at the moment. But it’s not like a normal headache. It’s unlike anything I’ve ever experienced before, and that’s why I just know something is wrong.
