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Cage was like a drug to me back then. The more of him I got, the more of him I wanted.
He was my whole world.
And then life threw us a curveball.
fourteen
Cage
“Yeah.We’d finally gotten a break, right?” Hell, we’d practically lived together for four years. We spent every night together. I was fairly certain that Presley Duncan was the only person on the planet that didn’t annoy me back then, and considering how much time we’d spent together, she should have gotten some sort of fucking medal.
She unzipped her coat, as the heat from the fire had warmed the space. When her hand slipped from mine, I missed it the second it was gone. This wasn’t smart, bringing her here. Talking about this shit. The past was in the past. It couldn’t be changed. The damage was done.
Not everyone got a happy ending.
I’d accepted that.
But sitting here with her, getting a taste of everything I didn’t have…
Everything I wanted…
It was like a sober guy planting his ass in an open bar.
It was a dumb fucking thing to do.
Once her coat was off, her fingers found my hand, tracing along my knuckles as if she’d missed the contact as much as I had.
“And then we didn’t get into one single grad school together.” She shook her head at the memory, which was still pretty raw in my mind. “I swear my mother somehow rigged it so that I miraculously got into Harvard, yet I didn’t get into one California law school, even though I was a damn resident of that state.”
I chuckled. She’d been convinced her mother had that kind of reach, but I knew she didn’t. She might have pulled some strings, getting letters of recommendation from senators and powerful people for her Harvard application, but they didn’t have the power to keep people from accepting her. Not that it mattered. We both got into impressive programs. We should have been adults about it.
“I didn’t know it would be as tough as it was,” I admitted, my gaze moving out to the water. I remember being exhausted with my class load, and the time change and the distance was hard. We were flying back and forth whenever we could, and it was fucking tiring.
“I think your dad getting sick changed things, you know? We were already struggling, and then when we weren’t able to visit as often anymore, it all just felt impossible. Especially with you being a jealous ass,” she said.
“Oh, really? You scared the shit out of my lab partner my second year of vet school. I believe you threatened her.” I laughed, and it echoed around the yard.
“Please. She was asking for it,” Presley said, changing her voice to this dramatic high pitch.“Cage, I was hoping we could study later.”
“Nothing ever happened with Carmie Carson.”
“Yes.Carmie.I wanted to scratch her eyes out when I saw the way she hung all over you when we went to that happy hour that time I visited.”
“You were sitting on my lap at that happy hour. She just asked if I wanted to join her study group.”
“Whatever. I got a vibe from her. I trust my instincts. And you’re not one to talk. You scared the living shit out of poor Leo Wilson when you came charging at him like a freaking caveman.”
I winced at the memory. “I actually liked Leo, but I saw his hands on you, and I guess I just saw red. It was a bad time, you know? I was exhausted from school, and my dad’s prognosis didn’t look great when he first started chemo, and I felt like I was losing my girl, I guess.”
Her gaze softened as her fingers interlocked with mine. “You were never losing me. And Leo’s hands were not on me. I’d just slipped on the ice when you happened to come charging out of nowhere with your surprise visit. And you were the one that thought we should take a step back from our relationship.”
“We were fighting all the time. I was in a really dark place and struggling, and you were trying everything you could to keep us together. Flying to see me all the time when you were completely exhausted from school. Dealing with my moods and my jealousy because I couldn’t handle being away from you. And then you started that fucking internship, and Wes was having you travel with him. It just felt like too much at the time. My family was struggling, and my dad’s treatment took a toll on him. We were all a mess. I know I did a lot of things wrong; I own that. And I thought taking the pressure off would help, but it just made things worse. The longer we went without seeing one another, the harder it was. So, I ended it because I thought it would be for the best at the time.”
Tears streamed down her pretty face. “I felt like you completely pulled away. Like I’d lost my best friend. We were barely talking anymore, and Wes was always there, you know? Waiting in the wings, I guess. And when you finally called after weeks and asked, I said that I was seeing him. We’d gone to dinner a few times, but it was nothing serious. I hadn’t even kissed him at that point. But I wanted you to be jealous and fight for me. It was childish and stupid. I know that now.” She shook her head and swiped at her cheeks.
“And I went the other way, didn’t I?”
“You said you were happy for me. You said you were just having fun and dating different women, and you thought this was better for us. And it hurt in a way I can’t even put into words. So, I just focused on school and let myself pretend to be happy with Wes, and the relationship progressed. But it was never like ours. It was different. It looked good on paper, I guess.” A sarcastic laugh left her lips. “He wined and dined me, but there wasn’t a friendship or any kind of passion because I’d already given my heart away.”
