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I followed him through the gorgeous kitchen, with black cabinets and a grand island in the center, to a set of French doors that led to the backyard. He turned on the outdoor lights and held out his arm for me to sit on the couch, and he reached for a long lighter and turned on the firepit that was in front of the couch. The water wasn’t too far off in the distance, and he had a dock with a boat parked there.
He had an outdoor kitchen area, and he pulled open the refrigerator and grabbed two bottles of water before sitting down next to me.
“Thank you,” I said, setting the water down on the side table. The warmth from the fire made it comfortable to sit outside, though most of the snow had melted over the last few days since we’d returned home.
“This is probably the most peaceful place I’ve found yet,” he said.
The sound of the water splashing against the shore and the leaves rustling in the wind had my body relaxing as I sank into the couch.
“This is hard to beat.”
“I’m sorry I lied about the tattoo.” He cleared his throat, and when I looked up, my gaze locked with his.
“I’m not mad that you didn’t tell me about it.”
“All right. What are you mad about?”
“I don’t know. Maybe I’m mad at the world.” I shrugged with a forced chuckle before continuing. “Mad that our timing was just never right. And I guess in my mind, I’d imagined that you got back together with Gracie’s mom or met someone else and that you were living this perfect life. And the thought used to haunt me so badly that I couldn’t come back here. I couldn’t stand the idea of you with someone else.” My voice cracked on the last word, and the sound itself was heartbreaking, let alone the words that I’d just admitted.
He reached for my hands. “I told you back then that what I had with Gracie’s mother was a one-night stand. One drunken night when I was angry and jealous because you had started dating Wes, and it was eating me alive. I didn’t know her all that well. We met at a bar. I didn’t see her again until eight and a half months later when she showed up on my doorstep, about to give birth. She was going to give Gracie up for adoption, and her parents convinced her that I should have the first right to keep her before she gave her away. So, I’d been there in the delivery room, and she gave birth, and I only saw her one more time after that.”
“She had no second thoughts?”
“No, she had to go before a judge to relinquish all rights to our daughter. Her name was on the birth certificate, and she was terrified of having any legal recourse as far as child support. I never wanted any of that, so I was relieved that she’d signed over her rights. There was no romance or love there. Nothing at all. But I’m grateful for the gift that she gave me. I’m grateful that she had the decency to come and find me and give me the option to raise my little girl.”
“Where is she now?”
“I don’t know. She was a successful model, and she wanted to travel the world, which I hope she’s doing. We obviously hadn’t planned to have a child. I’d used protection, so I don’t know what the fuck happened. But I wouldn’t change a thing now. At the time, I was pretty fucking terrified.”
“It’s like the universe never wanted us to be together, huh? Things just kept happening to keep us apart,” I said as I looked out at the water.
“Well, we had a pretty epic couple of years, though, didn’t we?”
“We did.” I moved closer to him. I never could stay away when he was near. From the moment I met him, it had been that way. “I remember counting down the days until summer so I could be with you in Cottonwood Cove.”
“Summers were pretty damn good. And once I got a car, I was able to come see you in San Francisco. We made it work, right?”
“Remember that Valentine’s Day when we were seniors in high school, and you drove to the city and surprised me? You stood outside my window with a boom box, trying to be all romantic.” I fell back laughing, but I kept a hold of his hand because I imagined this would be the last time that I held it.
God, I loved his hands. They were large and strong. Just like him.
“Getting through your guard gate was a goddamn miracle in itself. Your mom refused to put me on the permanent list.” He chuckled. “She always wanted you to go to Harvard and find your husband there.”
“Barbie is an asshole. That hasn’t changed.” I shrugged, and my teeth sank into my bottom lip. “She found my dad there, and she was hell-bent on me doing the same. I’d let her down so many times that I guess she had that one coming.”
“I’m sure she was thrilled that you married a Wellington.”
“She was. I think the fact that you and I found a way to go to college together actually freaked her out. She actually thought I might not go to Harvard.”
“You went to undergrad with your boyfriend and attended a California state school. You were such a fucking rebel, Raven.” His smile was so big, and the flames from the firepit shone in his gorgeous sapphire blues.
“Can I tell you something?” I asked.
“Yes.”
“Those four years… they were the best of my whole life.”
We’d found a way to go to undergrad together. Everyone said that we wouldn’t last because we’d been dating long-distance all through high school. But our bond had only grown stronger once we got to see each other every day.
