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“Yeah.”
“Well, turns out, you need a lot of money for that. Or a scholarship. Or both, sometimes,” I say. “Your dad doesn’t need me as a nanny anymore, but Daisy’s mom asked me if I could help her out. I don’t want that to be weird for you.”
“You’ll be Daisy’s nanny?” Alex asks.
“Maybe. Not sure yet. But maybe,” I say. “Depends on how things work out with all my college applications.”
“That’s fine,” Alex says, lifting her chin. I can tell it bugs her, but she’s being strong about it. “That just means I get to see you when I visit Daisy and when we do practice for the talent show.” She squishes out from underneath the blanket and gives me a hug.
I hug her back, relishing this moment. I’ve always wanted to work with kids, just because of how joyful they are, how free, and how amazing it would be to help shape them into the best versions of themselves they can be. But this is difficult. I didn’t think I would get this attached to Alex.
I choke back tears as she squeezes me even tighter and mumbles something under her breath.
“What’s that, honey?”
“It’s dumb.”
“No way.”
Alex hesitates. “I said I wish you were my real mom.”
Oh my God. “Oh, honey.” I wish I was too. But it wouldn’t be helpful or responsible to say that to her right now when she’s feeling this way. Instead, I hug her and don’t let go until she wants to.
She wipes her tears away and grins at me. “You promise I can call you any time?”
“Unless it’s past your bedtime. Because then we’ll both get in trouble with your dad.”
“Hey,” Cash says, knocking on the door. “I heard someone blaspheming me in here.”
Alex and I laugh as he opens the door. I lose my breath at the sight of him but cover my tracks. Even if Alex feels like she wants me around permanently, it’s still not the right time to tell her. Not until we’re sure. Not until I know what’s happening with college.
Cash comes over and grabs Alex. He hugs her and she giggles hysterically as he tickle-fights with her. The sounds of joy fill the room, and I can’t help but laugh along.
I wish every day could be like this.
Forty-Six
CASH
I’ve already droppedAlex off for the evening at Ganny’s place. She spent her last day with June as her nanny, shopping, going to the beach, visiting with her friend Daisy, and making fried pickles, which I ate under June’s watchful stare.
I stand at the base of the stairs waiting for June to appear. She went up to get dressed for our night out a half an hour ago, and I’m anxious to see her. To touch her and hold her and show her the fuck off in front of everyone in town.
I do not give a damn what anyone has to say about it. Don’t care if it winds up in the news. But I need to make sure June is prepared for that on the off chance it does happen. I’m not a “star” anymore so there are fewer articles about me online these days, but one pops up every now and again, and Jesse loves to annoy me with them.
“You going to be ready this century?” I call up the stairs. “I’m growing a beard down here.”
“You already have a beard,” she says, out of sight at the top of the stairs. “Almost done.”
I can’t fucking wait to take her out tonight. I can’t wait to have her to myself, then bring her home and make her scream my name. I want everyone to fucking know she’s mine.
Heels click on the landing, and I look up.
I’m stunned.
She’s a vision in red, descending the stairs with her hand on the balustrade. The dress she’s chosen tonight clings to her body, accentuating every curve, and my mouth waters for her. Her hair falls around her shoulders in golden waves, and she’s done her makeup so that her green eyes look even bigger than usual.
“Christ on a fucking cracker,” I murmur.
