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June moves past me, and I catch her hand, sweeping my thumb across the back of it. I love her, but now isn’t the time to say it. When I tell her how I feel, June is going to be so overwhelmed, she won’t know how to respond. I’m going to show her how a real man treats his wife, because that’s what I want for us.
She blushes at the intensity of my stare.
I kiss her once on the lips. “Tomorrow night, you and I are going out. Alone.”
Forty-Five
JUNE
I feellike I might be crazy for having this much faith in a man, but my heart is open to Cash.
You’re a fool. My mother’s voice sounds in my head as I take the stairs.
Alex has closed her bedroom door, so I knock on it. “Alex? It’s June. Can I come in?”
“Yeah.” The squeaky reply sounds heartbroken.
Guilt wracks me, but ultimately, this isn’t my decision. I’m not needed here anymore, and it would be seriously inappropriate to stay on and pretend to be the nanny just so I can have a relationship with Cash. And staying next door to my mother while that’s all going on, with the potential for Olivia to be around at any time, just complicates things.
I step into the room and shut the door behind me.
Alex sits in the middle of her bed, her covers draped around her and over her head. She looks like a budget Star Wars character, and it’s adorable.
“Hey,” I say. “Are you good?”
“No.”
“I’m sorry. Is there anything I can do to help?”
“You can stay,” she replies. “You can stay and never leave. You can be my nanny forever.”
I walk over to the bed and sit down beside her, releasing a breath. Alex is mature for her age, but it’s moments like these, when she’s at her most vulnerable, that show how young she still is. I remember what it was like to be eleven and worried about things I shouldn’t have been. Or coping with school and bullies. Or just wanting my mother to be nice.
I take her hand and squeeze her fingers. “I’ve had the best time being your nanny,” I say. “I’ve loved every second of it.”
“Me too.”
“And you know, just because I’m not going to be your nanny any more doesn’t mean I’m not going to be your friend. I’m only a phone call away.”
“I don’t have a phone.”
“You have a phone in the kitchen. You can call me any time,” I say. “Any time. And with your dad’s permission, we can go out to the beach or we can go shopping together again. Besides, I’m still going to help you and Daisy prepare for the concert at the end of the summer.”
“You are? For the talent show?”
“Of course,” I say. “You didn’t think I’d just let you fend for yourself, did you?”
Alex shrugs and looks down, her bottom lip quivering. I stroke her hand and choke back tears of my own. I have to go slow with Cash, if we’re going to do this, if this is really going to be a thing, because I cannot afford to hurt this little girl. She’s already been through enough with Olivia.
“I would never leave you guys to figure stuff out if you weren’t ready,” I say. “But I have to admit that you two are rock stars. You’re going to kick butt at the talent show.”
A smile appears. “And you’ll be there.”
“Of course, I’ll be there. You’d have to tie me down to stop me from being there. I’m going to be the one cheering the loudest. I’m going to cheer so loud you’re going to be a little freaked out by it.”
Alex laughs, and then she squeezes my hand back, which I take as the first sign of forgiveness for my betrayal.
“So, remember how I said I want to study to be a teacher after the summer?” I ask.
