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“No, it’s not a joke, and I’m not a comedian,” I say, grinning. “But if you’re not interested, I’m sure I will be able to find someone else who will be.”
“Oh my gosh. You women are crazy these days.”
“Is it making you think about going back to your ex-wife?” He pauses and takes another sip of his beer.
“Okay. I mean, it doesn’t seem like we’re going to hit it off, right?”
“No, we’re definitely not going to hit it off.”
“And if I’m honest, she’s not exactly my ex-wife.”
“Okay, your wife that you’re separated from, right?”
“Well, maybe she doesn’t really know that we’re separated.”
My jaw drops. “Then what the—”
“I’m just in town with my buddies for the week, and I thought I could meet a girl who wanted to have some fun. No strings attached. I’ve got three kids. I haven’t had sex in two weeks.” I just stare at him and shake my head.
“Oh my gosh. You are literally horrible.”
“Well, it’s a good thing that we didn’t hit it off, then, right?” He winks. The bell rings, and I’m grateful when he stands up and moves to the next table. I am literally going to murder Isabel for bringing me here. If all the men are as bad as this, it is going to be a long night. The next guy sits at the table and smiles at me. He kind of reminds me of Will Smith, and I wonder if he’s going to be nice or…
“Hi,” he says, “my name’s Russell.”
“Nice to meet you. I’m Ella,” I say, stressing the la part of my name. “With twoL’s and not twoM’s.”
“Got it,” he nods, “Ella, not Emma.”
“Yep,” I smile, hoping I’m not coming across as a condescending biatch. “So are you still married or…?”
He frowns slightly and shakes his head. “No, I wouldn’t be here if I was married. Why? Are you?”
“No, but the first guy I spoke to was still married and looking to cheat on his wife with me, so…”
“Oh no, that’s not me. Actually, I haven’t dated anyone in a while.” He grins. “What about you?”
“No, I haven’t dated anyone in what could be referred to as a hot minute.”
“Well, I guess I haven’t dated anyone in what could be referred to as a cold minute,” he says, and we both laugh. “So what do you do for a living, Ella?”
I pause. “I am an assistant right now to a billionaire, which sounds a lot fancier than it is. What about you?”
“I am actually an accountant,” he says, “which also sounds fancier than it is.” He looks at me, and his eyes crinkle. “So you’re very pretty and you’re funny. What are your flaws?”
“You think I’m pretty?” I say, flirting back at him. Maybe this guy isn’t so bad after all. He is cute, and I also think he has a great sense of humor.
“I said it, right?” He beams at me. “This is really awkward, isn’t it?”
“Yes, my friend made me come. What about you?” I ask.
“Actually, I made my friend come,” he says, laughing. “We don’t seem to have the best luck meeting ladies. So I thought, what about a speed-dating event? This way, we get to date several women at one time without being douchebags.”
“Is that the way you see it?”
“Plus, I get to see if I like them and they like me.” He holds his glass up. “You want to cheers to the evening?”
“Sure,” I say, holding my martini glass up. We cheers, and I take a sip.
