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“I didn’t want to make any assumptions.” Carina rubbed her arms. “But the way you stormed off after her and then dragged her into the private room…” She shrugged. “Leni said you took Kelly with you and she hasn’t come back.”
“That’s right.”
“You’re with her then?” She pursed her red lips. “I mean, you’re together, the two of you?”
“Yeah.” Her face fell, and I hadn’t realized until then what she was truly getting at. “Been in love with her for some time now. Just… needed to realize it.”
Carina nodded and she chewed on the inside of her lip. Her hand settled on my arm before she said, “I’m happy for you, Lee. I really am. You’re a great guy, and it’s good to see you so happy.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before.”
“Don’t be.” She shook her head, taking a step back. “You did nothing wrong. I just didn’t pay attention to the signs.”
“What do you mean?’
“That you weren’t meant for me. I can see that now, how happy you are with her.” With a sad smile, Carina gripped my arm. “You take care of yourself, okay?”
“You too, Carina.”
With one last look at me, she turned and walked out the door. I expected to feel a wave of sadness, but I didn’t. I felt right. I felt like I was right where I belonged.
With Kelly by my side.
I went back to work, my mind right back where it’d been all day.
On the love of my life.
27
KELLY
It took me twenty minutes after Lee left to step away from the door. Half that time was spent thinking the building was going to collapse, or the door would burst open and someone would abduct me, or I’d just flat out die right there in front of the door and Lee would have to step over my dead body to get inside. The other half was spent thinking I’d vibrate my way through the ceiling and up to the clouds with my inability to keep still.
I used every trick my therapist had taught me—deep breathing, closing my eyes, focusing on my body or the small chip in the paint on the wall, or picturing my goddamn happy place.
That’s what did it.
That’s what got me moving again.
My happy place.
It was Lee, surely. I’d worried, when we came to his apartment rather than his safehouse, that I wouldn’t feel… safe. But it was Lee—not the building—that calmed me, that made me happy.
Lee, and the thousand orgasms he’d given me.
Never had someone focused so much on me and my needs and desires. Not my parents. Not my past boyfriends. Not even the best friends I’d ever had.
Lee didn’t take. Ever. He paid attention to my every sound, watched my every movement. Gave so much of himself that I was bursting, overflowing. Then he’d just sop up my mess until he held all of me in the palm of his hand.
My chest felt full, my legs weak. My heart hammered through me as if trying to point out the tingle of electricity that seemed to flow through me every time he was near.
I was in love with him.
There was no doubt in my mind.
And I wanted to do something for him.
I’d forced myself to get dressed and fix my hair. I even put on a bit of makeup because I wanted to look the way Lee made me feel inside. I was going to prove to myself that I could do the things that were terrifying for me.
