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“I miss you too.”
After a while, he wiped my face with his sleeve and I tried to do the same for him with my fingers. Touching his face made me cry more, but I didn’t try to hide it. Crying in front of each other felt like lancing the hurt that had grown between us. His bad behaviour had sprung from fear and repressed emotion, so it was surely better to tell these things, to show—
“I cannot bear to see you cry. This morning, at breakfast, I want to gather you up, make everything right for you. But there is this terrible truth. It was I that had made everything wrong. Then Will, he is being the hero, no? Much this week, I have seen. You have a great compassion, even for those is not deserving. I think is like your acting. You can be another person, also feel exactly what they are feeling, understand.”
“You’ve been reading about autism and empathy,” I said, glancing at the book on his bed. “How it can seem almost psychic?”
“Ah,” he said as if caught in a crime. “Usually I am dismiss labels as we are all unique, but you are using this word yourself, and I wanted to see if there is any way I can be better for you.”
“Okay.” As a teacher, I assumed.
“I realise springing a surprise, like was done with the Ceilidh, was not good at all, and will endeavor to make sure such a thing does not happen again.” As a teacher. “And the choreography this afternoon,” he said, moving the conversation on. “It is superb. Truly.”
“That was mainly Will.”
“The music, the words? They are speaking to me.”
“I think you take whatever meaning there is to you in music, a song, especially if, when, well…”
“When you are in love.”
Not quite so teacherly then, but nervousness appeared at the thought of enlarging upon the subject.
“I better go and get ready.”
“Wait.” He pulled off his sweater. “This you wear, and together, your friends and those who love you, we will keep you warm.”
I pulled it on, his determination to tell me he loved me making both my eyes and chest ache.
“You look beautiful,” he said.
“I’ve been crying. I now have two bulky jumpers on. I look hideous.”
“You don’t. But you will let me know when you are back? Just put head round door if you like, or come in, we speak, whatever you want.”
“It could be very late.”
“I will not sleep until I know you are safe back in the castle, angel.”
Chapter 22
Alongwaittookplace in the top room of the tower. The more time went by, the less I wanted to go on the excursion. Prancing off into the cold night held no attraction, even if it did look a bit moonlit and sparkly out there. It would be preferable, by far, to go and sit with Aleks. Just talk with him a bit, maybe.
Sun finally arrived, having been lighting a fire in the stone circle, and we clopped down the stairs. Every step echoed as we wound our way downwards.
A door opened ahead. Will looked as surprised and horrified to see us as I felt to see him emerging from Sadie’s room.
“Evening, Will,” said Sun with a smile.
I turned my head and looked down the winding staircase, so upset I could have screamed. A red cloud formed around me.
“I thought you were off at your thing,” said Will. “In the circle.”
“We’re just going now,” said Sun.
We left him behind, without another word or look, and met Holly in the entrance hall.
“Are you all right, Phi?” Sun asked as we put coats on.
