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“Aleks? Is something wrong?”
“He thought you were off boffing Hearst.”
“What?”
“Well, ‘making love with each other’ was what he actually said. Making love? I mean, who says that? Gets away with it, though, doesn’t he? Sorry, look, I’ll start at the beginning. Dragged in here, all excited, thinking the Zolotov had turned. He’s all, ‘You must be very honest with me, Justin. She is with William now?’ And I’m like, ‘Ugh, no, what gave you that idea?’ Many things apparently.”
“But, why would he care anyway? He got over me in one day.”
“Hello! Are you blind? He watches you all the time. His face during theRomeo and Julietsnogathon? It was a toss-up which was more interesting to watch, you or him. That’s why I said all that stuff about Lady Macbeth. To explain about your acting, you see. He was in pieces. But it was nothing to this afternoon’s fandango. I said, ‘I don’t think that’s what’s happening, but let’s go see.’ And he’s like, ‘No, we can’t do that.’ So I’m like, ‘Yes, we can—’”
“Justin.”
“Sorry, it went on a bit, was still going on in fact, when I flung open Hearst’s door and screamed. The mess! Dirty clothes everywhere, dishes with dried-up stuff on them. There should be police tape over that door to warn people away. Anyway, he thought the worst. But I heard music, and there you were, skiving off my class, but I’ll let that pass for now.”
“Maybe it’s a male-ego thing,” I wondered. “He doesn’t want me, but nobody else should either?”
“He’s very, very sorry about all that rubbish with Simone. I don’t think he’ll ever flirt with anyone again.”
“What?”
“We both agreed it was inexcusable. I asked him, if he was so bothered about you, what was that all about, and he said that he loves you so much. In fact he said, ‘I love her with great force.’ I felt quite weak. Go and find him, Phi. Talk it out, go to bed. It’ll be better than whatever lesbo romp Sun’s got planned.”
“I don’t believe this, Justin. He’s charmed you. Remember what he did, and how he behaved,” I said, to remind myself as much as my friend after what I’d just been told.
“Yes,” he replied, momentary confusion visible on his face. “But you were so sweet together before we came here.”
“Yes. Before. Not now. Not again. I’m going to watch telly with Will.”
How dare Aleks use Justin to do this? Or was Justin exaggerating or misinterpreting passing comments? He always forgave Edward, whatever he’d done. Was there some sort of transference going on here? I tried not to dwell, or surmise, or even think about it too much.
I climbed the stairs to prepare for the excursion to the circle, feeling deeply sad about everything. Passing Aleks’s room with its ever-open door, I realised what he might think when he heard footsteps on the stairs in the night.
I knocked and put my head round the edge of the door. He was sitting on his bed reading and almost fell over himself to get to me.
“Malphia.”
Justin was right. He did seem in a state. He stopped short of touching me and appeared both pleased and worried to see me.
“Hi,” I said. “I just wanted to let you know that some of us are going out later, and it might disturb you. It’s difficult to be quiet on the stairs.”
“You are sneaking out to the nightclub? Michelle is gone for two days to get more equipment so she will not know, and I will not tell.” He laid his hand across his heart.
“No.” I smiled at his gesture. “We’re going up to the stone circle for some sort of female-empowerment… thing.”
“Outside? At night? Is been rain, now is frost, will be ice everywhere. Is dangerous for slip, will be dark and so, so cold. Already you are cold. I know this.” He took my hands and attempted to rub warmth into them.
“I don’t want to go,” I told him. “But I’ve said I will now. Holly’s really looking forward to it. She’s doing food and looking out coats and boots and things.”
“Who else is going?”
“Just Sun and me. Will wanted to come, but Sun said no men, and she didn’t ask Sadie or anyone else, so it’s just us.”
I stopped. I was babbling. For a short time, everything had felt easy and natural like before.
The hug was spontaneous, and it was like coming home after a long and perilous journey.
“I miss you so much,” he said.
