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“Which one?” he asked.
Holly leaned across the counter on her forearms. “A romantic suspense about a stalker and the woman he’s after. Sounded good, but then I got really creeped out.”
“That’s all that’s keeping you up?” Declan opened the cupboard to grab the chips, realizing he sounded testy without meaning to. “A book?”
Holly sighed. “No. I feel…like a jerk about earlier.”
“Earlier when?”
Holly shot him a sour look. “Don’t be cute. About saying you should go back to your room after we…finished. I lay there thinking about how I’d feel if a man said that to me and I instantly regretted it, but I didn’t want to come in there and wake you up to tell you that.”
“Well, I wasn’t asleep, but if you didn’t want me to stay, Holly, then you don’t have to apologize for your feelings,” he said.
“That’s the thing. With all our talk about benefits and you leaving Mistletoe, I thought that you wanted to go. And then I saw your face and I…” She trailed off, shrugging. “I figured I must have imagined your expression when you walked out that door.”
“What did you think you saw?”
“Disappointment? I thought for a second you might have been unhappy about not staying with me, but you didn’t say anything, you just left. Then I heard you out here and figured if neither of us could sleep, maybe that meant something.”
“That we’re insomniacs who think too much?” he joked.
“Or that we didn’t want to be alone?”
Declan didn’t want to tell her that it was more than that. The second he held Holly, it was like something clicked inside him. Being with her, touching her, sinking into her body brought on a sense of belonging and satisfaction he’d never experienced. He’d spent so much time keeping her at arm’s length that now he didn’t like having the counter between them, let alone a bedroom wall.
But Holly wasn’t thinking that way, and if he came on too strong it might send her into a panic.
“Could be that,” he said.
“Then I suggest,” she said, coming around the counter and taking a soda from inside the fridge before snagging the chips from his hand, “that we amend the rules. We’ll be honest about how we’re feeling, even if the other might not be on the same page. That way there’s no more confusion, and if we want to expand the menu of what benefits means for us, we can.”
“I’m good with that. Why you stealing my chips, though?”
“Because if you want these,” she said, waving them in the air as she backed toward the hallway, “you’re going to have to follow me.”
Declan almost told her she didn’t need the chips to lure him into her room, but he just grinned, trailing behind her. He left the door open and when she climbed up on the right side of the bed, he took the left happily, since it was what he slept on at home.
Thinking of home made him worry about his dad and how he was doing, despite what his mom said. Declan knew when something changed with Liam, if there was a shift in mood or behavior. Even if his dad sold the store, how could Declan consider leaving the town, let alone the state? If something happened to Liam and Declan couldn’t get here fast enough, he’d have to add that to the stack of regrets that kept piling up.
“Hey, where did you go?” Holly asked, popping the top on the chips and holding it out to him.
That little voice in his head screamed not to tell her, that he needed to keep boundaries. To protect his privacy.
“We said we’d be honest with each other,” she prodded. “Judgment-free zone, if that’s what concerns you.”
“It’s not.” Declan took a deep breath and admitted, “My dad doesn’t want anyone to know—he’s got Alzheimer’s.”
Holly stopped chewing, her eyes heavy with sympathy as she took a drink of her soda and swallowed. “I am so sorry.”
“Yeah, that’s one of the reasons I haven’t told anyone. That and my dad asked me not to. I don’t want everyone finding out and feeling sorry for us. You live long enough and some illness is bound to take you down.”
“That’s a…pragmatic way to look at it.”
“Pessimistic and shitty, you mean.” Declan reached for a chip, holding it in his hand with no desire to eat it anymore. “It’s something my dad says.”
“If he’s sick, why did you leave the house?”
“Because I found out he lied to me for years.”
