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She hadn’t done anything.
She’d had to be rescued several times, and even though she’d fought both Ross and Zara, she didn’t have the strength it took to save herself.
With a glance at Christian, Lila wondered if she had the strength to get through the trauma of the last week and have the happy ending with the man she loved that she so desperately craved.
Chapter Twenty-Three
November 24th
7:44 P.M.
Finally.
Surf had been waiting for days to get his beautiful woman home and all to himself, and now they were finally here.
Despite the fact that he knew without a shadow of a doubt that he loved Lila with every fiber of his being and wanted to spend the rest of his life with her, raising their baby, celebrating holidays, traveling the world, and enjoying one another, things felt almost strained between them.
Not distant perse. Lila hadn’t been out of his arms since Domino shot Zara Duffy and then Aleksei. After settling in a new hospital room—one not stained in blood and death—they’d curled up on the bed together and slept. On the plane, he’d kept her tucked against his side the entire time. And even when Eagle had insisted on driving them to Surf’s apartment himself Lila had been plastered against him.
Surf had even gone so far as to carry her the short distance from the street to his apartment building. Needing the slight weight of her in his arms had nothing to do with not wanting her to cause herself pain by using her crutches, it had everything to do with wanting the reassurance of feeling her body against his.
Lila hadn’t spoken much, seeming content just to rest her head on his shoulder and let him hold her, and while he appreciated that she wasn’t pulling away from him, he could tell she was holding something back.
Burying it inside herself where it could fester and destroy her.
Not that he had any intention of allowing that to happen.
Protecting the woman he loved didn’t just mean keeping her safe from physical harm, it meant making sure every part of her was taken care of.
Including her mental health.
“Almost there, mama bear,” he murmured, making sure his tone was pitched low and soothing. He carried her through the lobby, bypassed the lifts, and took the stairs instead. Surf was more mentally exhausted from the events of the last week than he was physically worn out. While his body was used to pushing itself to the edge, his mind wasn’t used to someone he loved being at the center of a mission.
The toll of worrying over Lila, seeing her in danger over and over again, that was something he wouldn’t get over anytime soon.
“Home sweet home,” he said as he managed to balance Lila in his arms and pull his keys from his pocket, unlocking the door and then locking it behind them. While they hadn’t discussed it yet, he wanted her to stay here with him permanently. Or if she preferred, they could live in her apartment or find a new place. Surf didn’t care where they were as long as they were together.
Since this was his apartment and Lila didn’t have any of her things here, Eagle had organized for his wife Olivia to pick up the things Lila had taken with her to the Prey safehouse and drop them off here. He wanted her to be comfortable and knew having her own things around her would help.
“Hey, baby, how you doing?” he asked as he set her on the couch and knelt beside her. When he reached out to smooth a lock of hair behind her ear, he let his fingers linger, caressing the still-bruised skin on her cheek. Thankfully, the only serious injury was to her ankle, which was broken, and would require surgery when she was stronger, but the most important thing was that she was alive, and so was their baby.
“I’m okay, Christian. Happy to be alive and back home.” She tilted her face into his hand, seeking more of his touch and he was happy to give it to her.
There were shadows in her eyes he didn’t know how to chase away.
He wanted that fire back that had been there when she was fighting Zara in the hospital room. He wanted the spark back, the light, now her beautiful blue eyes were so dull that it broke his heart.
“Tell me what to do,” he said, desperation leeching into his voice. “Tell me how to make you smile again.” Did she know he would give anything to erase all of this from her mind? All the trauma, fear, and pain, he would take it in a heartbeat if he could.
A small smile curled her lips up. “You’re doing exactly what I need. You’re here. You brought me home with you rather than taking me back to my apartment.”
Surf frowned. “Did you honestly think I wouldn’t bring you back here?”
Lila shrugged.
“Sweetheart, I don’t want to let you out of my sight, much less have you in a completely different building in another part of the city.” Standing, he scooped Lila up then sat again, settling her in his lap. “This is where I want you. Forever. Right here in my arms. I don’t care where we live, but I want us to live together.” When she didn’t offer any protests he asked, “Any objections.”
Lips touched his jaw in a soft kiss. “Are you sure?”
