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“Do I need to answer?” He turned to my friend. “Hi, Blair. Nice to see you again.”
“Same.”
“I’ll call you tomorrow.” I waved goodbye to her. Then I waved to everyone else and followed Axel to the car, walking quickly. I didn’t open my mouth until we were far away.
“Are you trying to embarrass me?”
“It’s not my fault if you feel that way.”
“It would be nice if you hadn’t gone in like that.”
“Is there a right way to do it?”
“Yeah, one that doesn’t say you’re acting like my big brother.”
Axel stopped at a red light. “I’m glad you’re starting to get it, Leah.”
And I would, if his face didn’t say something very different.
I know he was waiting for a reply, but I also know nothing bothers Axel more than silence, so I bit my tongue and looked out the window at the houses we left behind. I heard him huff a few times, but I ignored it.
When we got home, I went to my room.
59
_________
Axel
There are some things in life you see coming and others that catch you by surprise. I had no idea that Saturday would be the day when I would be doomed to say words…words that I couldn’t erase.
I got up early, as always.
I didn’t call to Leah before going to the beach. I guess I was tired of her nos and her ugly expressions, her silence, her complications. I wanted to go back to that simple life I’d struggled so hard to make a reality.
Hours later, I saw her eating one of those packets of soup.
We spent the whole day avoiding each other. But I couldn’t get her out of my head, I couldn’t…
It was almost night when I decided the time had come to resolve this issue, because it was getting out of hand. When she went out onto the porch, I got up from my desk, leaving a commission half-done, and followed her.
“Are you going to stay mad forever? I hope you realize that you don’t have any reason to and that you’re acting like a fucking little girl.”
That pushed her button. Leah tensed up. “You don’t get a damn thing.”
“Really? Surprise me then.”
“You think I’m mad because I thought that kiss meant something and the next night you banged some other chick, right? But it’s not that, Axel. It isn’t.”
I tried to process, to understand her…but I couldn’t. Leah kept her each and every thought under lock and key. Or else I had just gotten stuck on the surface and couldn’t see any further.
“Then what the fuck is it about?”
She leaned one hand on the railing. “What it’s about is, you’re a coward, Axel. And that pisses me off. Pisses me off and disappoints me.” She looked up. “I’ve…I’ve always been in love with you. And it’s stupid for the two of us to keep acting like we don’t know.”
“Leah, shit, don’t say that…”
“But I fell in love with a guy I thought I knew. A brave guy, sincere, even if that meant being politically incorrect. A guy who never held back. Everything about you fascinated me, how you live for the day…” She licked her dry lips and I looked down at them. “I’m not going to say it didn’t hurt me that you slept with someone else, but I can bear that. I have before. What pissed me off was how you acted like a coward, because that kiss meant something, and you thought you could nip the problem in the bud just like that. That’s what I can’t forgive you for.”
