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"Yeah."
I watch him leave, notice the slump in his shoulders, the way his whole body seems to carry the weight of his choices, heavy and suffocating, as he treks down the pathway between our houses.
Loss is a funny thing, isn’t it? The way it opens your eyes to what you really want—what you really need.
I'm not sure I believe in fate, but I know if I had the chance to go back and change things, I don't think I would. Not even for my best friend's sake. Because as he opens the front door, steps aside to let his brother by, my heart begins hammering away in my chest.
When Kyle glances up, and his eyes meet mine, I decide I would walk through the heartache of losing Matt a thousand times over just to see the look on Kyle's face right now.
Matt brushes past his brother and closes the door. Kyle checks behind him, making sure Matt is inside before heading over to me.
I back up against the front door while I wait for him to climb the porch steps.
"Hi," I greet him as I bite my lip, trying to hide the massive smile on my face.
He steps closer, his chest a few inches from mine. I inhale the smell of his cologne, feel the ache between my legs throb. "Hi."
"You don't happen to have a condom on you by any chance, do you?" I flash my eyebrows at him seductively.
He closes the space between us, his body flush against mine. He leans down and kisses me gently before saying, "I do actually."
I turn the doorknob, slide open the door and step inside, still facing Kyle. "Good, cause I'm home alone."
Kyle grins at me before following behind me. I shut the door and lock it. The moment I do, his hands are all over me. They find the hem of his sweatshirt and he dips his hands under it, letting out a grunt when he realizes I don’t have anything beneath the thick, cotton material.
"You're killing me, Jenny," he moans into my ear as soon as his hands find my breasts.
I set the empty mug down on the entryway table the moment his lips find mine. His kiss is feverish, desperate, needy. My hands fist his black T-shirt as I arch my body into him, my hips colliding with his. A satisfied breath leaves my mouth when I feel he's already hard for me.
“Upstairs?” I half-ask, half-whisper between kisses.
He nods his head, grabs my hand and leads me towards the staircase. I follow behind, my heart humming in my chest, my body strumming with nervous anticipation, my head swimming with a million dirty thoughts.
But one shouts louder than the rest.
I want to taste him.
My room is messy, unorganized, but he doesn't seem to mind when he closes my bedroom door, playfully orders me to strip. A strange thrill runs through my body as I pull his sweatshirt over my head and toss it on the floor beside me. My nipples harden under his lustful gaze while my thumbs hook under the waist of my back leggings and underwear. I tear them down my legs, gracefully step out of them.
I walk towards Kyle, a sudden bout of confidence spearing through me when I reach him. I give his lips a chaste kiss before I'm down on my knees, my fingers unbuckling his black leather belt, twisting the button on his jeans, unzipping the zipper, and pulling the rough material down his legs.
I swallow nervously when I see it. Him. Bare, thick, heavy, pulsing right in front of my face.
It's, um, much, much bigger this close up.
Oh my god.
I take a moment, peer up at him, see his lips part in surprise and astonishment and disbelief. The dazed look on his face gives me the last push I need before I wrap my hand around it, slide it up and down the way I'm pretty sure Fallon told me a while back when she was detailing one of her, uh, encounters.
Kyle's hand wraps around mine. "Slowly," he instructs as he helps guide my hand back and forth.
It takes a few strokes, but I get the hang of it. His hand leaves mine as he reaches for my shoulder, grips it tightly, moans my name, sending a shiver down my spine.
I keep my eyes focused on his face, on the way his head falls back against my bedroom door, his eyes flutter close, his mouth drops open.
"Can I…" I start, but embarrassment and uncertainty render me speechless.
Kyle gazes down at me, raises his eyebrows. "Can you what?"
