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“I know,” he says, defeated. "I know."
I reach out a hand, lightly squeeze his shoulder. I hate that the moment I do, a fresh wave of pain flashes across his face. He closes his eyes, breathes through his nose, his body warming beneath my touch. I don’t know if I should pull my hand back or leave it there.
“Do you remember that time I stole a candy bar from the Five and Dime on Front Street?” I ask.
He slowly nods his head. “You only did it because I dared you to.”
“And when my mom asked me why I stole the Snickers bar, what did I tell her?”
Matt turns his whole body to face me, my hand falls away from him. “That you didn’t have any money and you really wanted it.”
“I didn’t rat you out,” I remind him. “Not once.”
“The point is?” Matt raises his shoulders, confused.
“The point is,” I say as I scoot a little closer to him, “we're always there for each other. We have each other's backs. If you need help with Audra, I can help. I can...take her to register for stuff for your baby shower. Or to lunch. Whatever she wants to do. She’s not the worst company in the world." There’s a brief pause before I continue. "If you need a break, just let me know.”
Matt slowly shakes his head. “I appreciate your offer, but it’s not your job.”
“I know it’s not,” I nod my head. “But I want to help.”
Our conversation is interrupted when Mom and Dad walk out the front door, laughing obnoxiously loud.
"Morning, Matt," Dad says as his hand finds the small of Mom's back. She's dressed in a bold pink sundress and chunky gold jewelry, looking gorgeous as always. Even with the permanent scowl on her face.
"Morning, Mr. Kearns," Matt greets him.
Tommy stumbles out the door behind them, still tucking in his blue dress shirt. "What are you doing…" he points at me, shocked, "up this early?"
"What are you doing up this early?" I raise a stunned eyebrow in response.
"Breakfast with Danny, Nora and the kids before church," Tommy answers. "You know I never turn down a free meal."
I look up at Dad, kind of hurt. "Why wasn't I invited?"
"You got in late last night," he replies. "Thought we'd let you sleep in."
Oh.
I guess that was...thoughtful.
"We can wait if you want to go get ready," Dad tells me.
I shake my head. "No, you guys go."
Dad kisses the top of my head before fist bumping Matt. Tommy smacks the back of my best friend's head as he barrels down the porch steps. Mom ignores me, offers Matt a small smile.
"Why does Tommy hate me?" Matt asks as the SUV they all piled in backs out of the driveway.
"He thinks you're an idiot," I answer truthfully.
Matt lets out a deep breath. "I am an idiot."
"No, not entirely," I reply.
"I am," he says firmly. "I've lost the only thing I really ever wanted." He smiles at me, but it doesn't reach his coppery brown eyes. They're filled with so many emotions. Pain. Guilt. Hurt. Sadness. Longing. "I better go," he says as he stands up.
"I'll see you around?" I ask, my fingers clinging tight to the coffee mug in my hand.
